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3 Archers are competing at a contest to find out which one of them is the best archer.

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3 Archers are competing at a contest to find out which one of them is the best archer.

Thunderous applause. thousands of people watching.

The first one climbs onto the podium and brings his wife with him. He puts an apple on her head, distances himself of her for 30 feet, aims, aaaaaaims and perfectly hits the apple. “I am Wilhelm Tell!” He shouts. The applause even gets louder.

The second challenger approaches the podium. He also brings his wife, puts a cherry on her head, goes away for 50 feet, aims, aaaaaaims, and also hits the target perfectly. The crowd is amazed. “I am Robin Hood!”

The last challenger enters. He puts a watermelon on his wife’s head. Takes 3 steps back, aims, aaaaaaims, and shoots his wife straight into the face. The whole crowd turns silent. “I am sorry!”

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That’s how I ended up in Ohio.

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That’s how I ended up in Ohio.

I often wondered why my ancestors ended up in Ohio. I was combing through boxes of paperwork my parents had kept. Some of it dating back to when my great, great grandparents were alive. When they were traveling from the east to find a place to settle, my great, great grandmother became somewhat ill. My great, great grandfather was annoyed and made some comments that she should suck it up so they could continue to travel. She was also annoyed with him and then told him to go on without her and she would catch up with him in a few weeks. Still annoyed and not wanting to make her any madder, he asked her where he should stop and build the homestead. She then answered him by saying, “Stick it where the sun don’t shine.”

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Two Hillbillies

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Two Hillbillies

Two Hillbillies sitting in a Diner having a bite to eat. After the meal they start to discuss their plans to expand the family moonshine business.

All of a sudden, the woman on the table next to theirs starts to cough. It’s going on for a while, so Billy-Bob walks over and asks ‘kin ye swalla..?’

the woman shakes her head..

‘Kin ye breeve?’

as she turns a shade of blue, the woman shakes her head again

Without a seconds thought Billy-Bob lifts her dress, pulls her panties down and gives a long wet lick to her right bum cheek. So shocked by this the womans body shuddered with disgust and the blockage cleared with a jolt.

Billy-bob walks back to his table, Billy-Ray turns in amazement… ‘I done did hear about that Hind Lick Maneuver, but i didnt see it be done before!’

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A Drunk Man Stumbles Out of A Bar…

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A Drunk Man Stumbles Out of A Bar…

…and sees two priests walking across the street. He staggers towards the two priests and stops in front of them. He turns to the first priest and proudly says, “I’m Jesus Christ!” The first priest shakes his head and replies, “No, son, you’re not.” He then turns to the second priest and says again, “I’m Jesus Christ!” Again, the second priest replies, “No, son, you’re not.” The drunk man finally says, “Follow me, I’ll prove it too you!” Curious, the two priests follow behind him as he walks back into the bar. Immediately upon entering, the bartender takes one look at the man and says, “Jesus Christ, you’re here again?!”

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