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3 vampire brothers want to see who is the strongest

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3 vampire brothers want to see who is the strongest

The first brother flies off at 100mph and comes back 10 minutes later. His mouth was covered in blood. “You see the mansion over there?” Said the first brother, “I sucked everybody in there dry.”

The second vampire said “That’s nothing” and flew off at 150mph and came back 5 minutes later with his nose and mouth covered in blood. “You see the village over there?” Said the second vampire brother, “I sucked everybody’s blood dry!”

The third vampire said “That’s nothing!” And flew off at 200mph and came back 10 seconds later, his whole face and shirt DRENCHED in blood. “Woah, what happened?” Said the first brother. “Well, you see that tree over there?” Said the third vampire. “Yeah?” Replied the other brothers, “I didn’t.”

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Funny All Time Best Women Joke: New Husband Store

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A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City,…

Where a woman may go to choose a husband.

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is, however, a catch…

You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor,..

But you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband…

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 – These men have jobs and love the Lord.

She then goes to the second floor,…

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

She thinks for a while, and then goes to the third floor,…

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop dead good looking and help with the housework.

“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!”

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay,…

But she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Floor 6 – You are visitor no. 43,630,912 to this floor.

There are no men on this floor.

This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

Share this to all men for a good laugh,… and to all the women who can handle the truth!

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Jokes

A king was fed up by the constant jokes about the men in his kingdom being afraid of their wives.

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A king was fed up by the constant jokes about the men in his kingdom being afraid of their wives.

He wanted to find a man who wasn’t afraid of his wife and give him public honors and lavish him with gifts so other men may follow suit.

After some brainstorming in the court the king announced to his subjects that ” if a man comes forward and publically say that he is NOT AFRAID of his wife, then that man will win the best horse from the king’s stables”.

The king waited with with baited breath for someone to come forward. Days passed but nobody came forward. The king was about to lose all hope then suddenly a man came in his court saying that “he was NOT AFRAID of his wife”.

The king was over the moon thinking that there is indeed a real man in his kingdom. He called all his subjects in a big Field and introduced them to the man who was definitely NOT AFRAID of his wife. Everyone applauded in awe as king presented him with the best red horse in his stable.

The man disappointingly looked at the horse. The king was confused. “What is it? You don’t like the horse? “

The man replied, ” actually, if you don’t mind your highness, my wife asked me to bring a white horse “

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A farmer has three daughters that are all going on their first dates…

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A farmer has three daughters that are all going on their first dates…

The farmer decides to greet the suitors at the door with his shot gun. Around 5 the first boy arrives and rings the doorbell. “My names Joe, I’m here for flo, we’re going to the show, is she ready to go?”

The farmer thought he was alright, so off they went to their date.

Shortly after the second boy arrives. He rings the doorbell and the farmer answers. “My names Heddy, I’m here for Betty, we’re going for spaghetti, is she ready?”

The farmer once again decided the boy was ok, so off the kids went.

Finally, the last boy arrives. The farmer goes to the door. “My names Chuck…”

The farmer shot him.

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