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A flat-chested young lady goes to Dr. Smith…

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A flat-chested young lady goes to Dr. Smith…

…for advice about enlarging her breasts.

He tells her, “Every day when you get out of the shower, rub the tip of your breasts and say, “Scooby dooby doobies. I want bigger boobies.”

She did this every day faithfully and after several months, it worked! She grew great boobs! One morning she was running late and she was on the bus when she realized she had forgotten her morning ritual.

At this point she loved her new boobs and didn’t want to lose them, so right in the middle of the bus–“Scooby dooby doobies. I want bigger boobies.”

A guy sitting nearby asked her, “Do you go to Dr. Smith by any chance?”

“Why, yes, I do. How did you know?”

“Hickory dickory dock.”

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Funny Best Marriage Humor: Husband’s Mid Life Crises

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When I was married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said,

“Honey, 25 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV,

but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year-old blonde.”

“Now we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV,

but I’m sleeping with a 50-year-old woman.

It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things.”

My wife is a very reasonable woman.

She told me to go out and find a hot 25-year-old blonde,

* * * * * * * * * * *

and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.”

Aren’t older women great?

They really know how to solve your mid life crisis.

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Funny Naughty Grandparents Joke: Grandpa With No Pants

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A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed,..

His grandfather sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down.

“Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out in the wind for everyone to see!” he exclaimed.

The old man looked off in the distance without answering.

“Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?” he asked again.

The old man slowly looked at him and said,

* * * * * * *

“Well… last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma’s idea.”

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Funny Best Non Veg Joke Of The Day: Smart Dirty Couple

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A couple went to a sex therapists office at ABC Hospital.

The doctor asked, “What can I do for you?”

The man said, “Will you watch us having sex, for your expert analysis?”

The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.

When the couple finished, the doctor said,

“There’s nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse,” and charged them $50/-.

This happened several weeks in a row.

The couple would make an Appointment, have intercourse with no problems, pay the doctor fees and then leave.

Finally the doctor asked, “Just exactly what are you trying to find-out?”

The man said, “We’re not trying to find out anything.

* * * * * * * * *

She’s married And we can’t go to her house – I’m married and we can’t go to my house.

The 5 star hotel charges $3000/-, 3 star hotel charges $1500/-, Any other hotel charges minimum $500/- for one day room.

We do it here for $50/-, and I get that back from Medical Insurance.”

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