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A man goes to the store to get a hot water bottle

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A man goes to the store to get a hot water bottle

A man goes to the store to get a hot water bottle. The clerk tells him he has just sold his last one. But if he wants to, he can take the cat, which should also accomplish the same goal of keeping his bed warm. The man agrees and goes home with the cat.

The next day the man goes back to store with scratches all over his body. The clerk, shocked, asks the man what had happened with the cat. The man replies: “Well, it was fine at first, he even managed to endure the funnel up his ass… But when it came to the hot water…”

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Funny Husband Wife Bedroom Humor Short Joke: Undressing

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James is alone in the bedroom when his beautiful wife opens the door and walks in.

“James,” she whispers, “Take off my shirt.”

“James,” she whispers, “Take off my bra.”

“James,” she whispers, “Take off my skirt.”

“James,” she whispers, “Take of my stockings.”

“James,” she whispers, “Take off my panties.”

“James!” she screams,

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“And Don’t ever wear my fucking clothes again!”

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Funny Naughty Doctor Joke Of The Day: Rusty Newborn Baby

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After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the Obstetrician.

“Doctor,” the man said,

“I don’t mind telling you, but I’m a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can’t possibly be mine.”

“Nonsense,” the doctor said.

“Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool.”

“It isn’t possible,” the man insisted.

“This can’t be, our families on both sides had jet-black hair for generations.”

“Well,” said the doctor,

“let me ask you this. How often do you have sex?”

The man seemed a bit ashamed.

“I’ve been working very hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice every few months.”

* * * * * *

“Well, there you have it!”

The doctor said confidently. “It’s rust.”

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Top 7 Best Funny And Bad Short Dirty Jokes: Dark Humor

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There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box.

The Female pencil got pregnant!!

Which Male pencil is responsible?

* * * * * *

ANSWER: THE ONE WITHOUT THE RUBBER.

Woman in bed with husband’s best friend, phone rings!

“YES”.. “OK, BYE”.

She turns to her lover and says,

* * * * * * *

“THAT’S MY HUBBY, SAYS HE’S NOW GOLFING WITH YOU.”

Three Roosters: normal, retarded and a gay.

Normal : cock-a-doodle-dooo !!!

Retarded : doodle-cock-a-dooo !!!

Gay : any-cock-will dooo !!!

Three Guys were introduced to a girl.

“Hi,…. I’m Peter, not a SAINT.”

“I’m Paul not a POPE.”

“I’m John not a BAPTIST…”

The girl replied..

* * * * * *

“Hi.. I’m Mary, not a VIRGIN.”

Girlfriends are like appetizers.

Taste good at any time.

Mistresses are Tomyams.

Hot and spicy. Eaten frequently.

WIVES are Maggie.

Eaten when there’s nothing to eat.!!!

Income Tax office asked a Prostitute why she puts her occupation as CHICKEN FARMER.

She replied:

* * * * * * * *

“I RAISED 5,000 COCKS LAST YEAR.!!”

Yesterday’s News:-

A nun jogging at Jogger’s Park was raped by 4 guys.

Today’s News:-

* * * * * *

Nearly 100 nuns found jogging at the park.

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