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A man is admitted to the hospital with chest pain.

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A man is admitted to the hospital with chest pain.

The cardiologist orders a battery of test over the course of a week. While studding the patient’s EKG he noticed that his heart rate was very erratic when his wife and daughter were visiting.

The doctor asked the man how his relationship was with his family.

Well I get along great with the 2 of them but they constantly fight and argue about anything and everything.

The Dr replied great. If they stop fighting all the time you will probably live for another 40 or 50 years. However if they keep fighting you could die from the stress in a few months.

The man is greatly relieved and ask the doctor to call and tell his wife the prognosis.

He gets dressed and goes home. When he walks into his home his wife and daughter are crying uncontrollably. When his wife see him she throws her arms around him and sobs

The doctor just called and you only have 3 months to live.

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Funny Mom v/s Son Clean Short Joke: Moral Lesson For Kids

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A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3.

The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.

Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.

“If Jesus were sitting here, He would say ‘Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait’”.

Kevin turned to his younger brother & said,

* * * * * * * * * *

“Ryan, you be Jesus!”

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Funny Marriage Humor Joke: Smart Divorced Barbie

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A man was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter’s birthday and he hadn’t bought her a present.

He drove to the mall and ran to the toy store and he asked the store manager,

“How much is that new Barbie in the window?”

The Manager replied, “Which one? We have

‘Barbie goes to the gym’ for $19.95,

‘Barbie goes to the Ball’ for $19.95,

‘Barbie goes shopping’ for $19.95,

‘Barbie goes to the beach’ for $19.95,

‘Barbie goes to the Nightclub’ for $19.95 and

‘Divorced Barbie’ for $375.00”

“Why is the Divorced Barbie $375.00 when all the others are $19.95?, the father asked.

The store manager replied:

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Divorced Barbie comes with Ken’s car, Ken’s house, Ken’s boat, Ken’s dog, Ken’s cat, Ken’s furniture and all of Ken’s savings.”

Mmm… Barbie Isn’t That Stupid After All…

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Funny Bad Joke: Little Johnny V/S Teacher’s Dirty Thinking

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A teacher asks her class:,

“If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?”

She calls on little Johnny.

“None, they all fly away with the first gunshot.”

The teacher replies:,

“The correct answer is 4, but I like the way you think.”

Then Little Johnny says:,

“I have a question for YOU Madam.

There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream.

One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.

The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.

The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?”

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies”,

“Well I suppose the one that’s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.”

* * * * * * * * * * *

“The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on… but I like the way you think.”

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