Connect with us

Jokes

A mother takes her daughter to a clinic

Published

on

A mother takes her daughter to a clinic

She tells the doctor that her daughter has been having terrible nausea in the morning, lost her appetite, and even missed a period.

The doctor examines her, orders a bloodwork, and tells them to come back later in the evening.

The mom and girl come back. The doctor announces that the girl is pregnant.

The visibly irked mother tells the doctor in a very indignant tone: “But that is not possible at all. I have ensured that she doesn’t have any boyfriends, she goes to an all girls Catholic school, and dresses like a nun. She is absolutely a virgin. You probably haven’t examined her well! You are wrong!!”

The girl doesn’t speak a word and stays fidgeting while looking at her toes.

The doctor stands up and walks to the window. As he peeps out, the mother says,

“Well..aren’t you going to say something? Order more tests? Refer us to a different doctor? What are you looking for through that window anyway?”

The doctor turns.

“Ma’am. The last time this happened a star appeared in the east”.

Jokes

The difference between men and women

Published

on

The difference between men and women

A man applies for a job with the FBI.

The interviewer says: “Everything looks good, we just have one test to prove that you’ll take on any task we ask of you.”

He hands the man a semi-automatic handgun.

“Through that door, your wife is tied to a chair. I need you to go in there and shoot her in the back of the head.”

Reluctantly, the man goes in and closes the door. A few moments later, he comes back.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t do it.” he says and they let him and his wife leave.

A woman applies for the same job and is told the same thing. Her husband is tied to a chair in the next room.

She gets up and walks through the door.

The interviewer hears several gunshots and the some heavy grunting from the woman. She comes out of the room, covered in blood.

“This gun was full of blanks, so I had to beat him to death with it!”

Continue Reading

Jokes

3 vampire brothers want to see who is the strongest

Published

on

3 vampire brothers want to see who is the strongest

The first brother flies off at 100mph and comes back 10 minutes later. His mouth was covered in blood. “You see the mansion over there?” Said the first brother, “I sucked everybody in there dry.”

The second vampire said “That’s nothing” and flew off at 150mph and came back 5 minutes later with his nose and mouth covered in blood. “You see the village over there?” Said the second vampire brother, “I sucked everybody’s blood dry!”

The third vampire said “That’s nothing!” And flew off at 200mph and came back 10 seconds later, his whole face and shirt DRENCHED in blood. “Woah, what happened?” Said the first brother. “Well, you see that tree over there?” Said the third vampire. “Yeah?” Replied the other brothers, “I didn’t.”

Continue Reading

Jokes

After intense partying with their friends, brother and sister got back home late at night…

Published

on

After intense partying with their friends, brother and sister got back home late at night…

Dad yells, ‘It’s two days to the exams and where on earth have you both been? Why weren’t you answering your phones?’

Daughter: I have been studying for the exams all day with my friends and had my cellphone on silent to beat the distractions. I was so exhausted that I slept on the couch and it was late when I woke up.

Dad instantly calls her friend and asks if she has seen his daughter that day. She is drunk and high and unwittingly tells the truth. The daughter is grounded.

Now, it’s the son’s turn. He repeats the same story.

Dad immediately calls his son’s friend and asks if he has seen his son that day. The friend is drunk and high but realizes what’s happening and says ‘Yep, he has been studying for the exams with us all day. Poor chap, he even slept on the couch. He was quite exhausted, do you still want me to wake him up now?’

Continue Reading

Trending