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A recently married couple are in bed, when the man asks his wife how many men she has slept with

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A recently married couple are in bed, when the man asks his wife how many men she has slept with

After the question, the woman doesn’t respond.

The man asks again “Just tell me, it’s fine. How many men have you slept with?”

His wife, still in total silence, just stares at the roof.

The man says “I am sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just thought we could trust each other…”

Still silence from his wife.

The man, giving up, says “It’s OK. Please don’t be upset.”

Since the woman is still silent, the man starts hugging and kissing her, showing his affection. While he is doing this, his wife seems to come to her senses, stops looking at the roof, looks at him, and upset, tells her husband, “Damn it! You made me lose count!”

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Funny Clean Courtroom Joke Of The Day: Innocent Accused?

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A man accused of theft was appearing before the Judge.

“Your Honor,” his lawyer said,

“I feel it is very unfair for my client to be accused of robbery.

He is an illegal immigrant, has just arrived in America and is guest in our city.

Unable to find his way he roams all around curiously.

He came to this country with knowledge of only a few words of our great English,

which pertains to his livelihood skills back from his mother country.”

The irritant Judge looked in disgust at the defendant and asked,

“How much English do you speak?”

The lawyer translated that to the defendant, defendant looked the judge in the eyes and replied,

* * * * *

“Give me your wallet!”

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Simple Clean Comedy Joke Of The Day: The Plumber On Run

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A man knocked the door of house.

The lady opened the door.

The man said, “I am the here on the run, to fix your leaky pipe.”

The Lady said, “We don’t have any leaky pipe here.”

The plumber on run, says,

“My note reads, your house called for a Plumbing Emergency, address looks exact, Aren’t you Mrs. Smith?”

The Lady says, “No, Smiths moved away about a year back from this house. We are Johnson.”

The plumber grimaces,

* * * * * * * *

“What kind of people are they, Calls for an Emergency repair and then move away.”

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A pregnant lady.

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A pregnant lady.

A lady who was pregnant with triplets was walking down the street one night and got robbed. She refused to give the robber any money so she was shot 3 times in the stomach. Miraculously she and all three children survived. She eventually have birth to two females and one male.

14 years later, her first daughter came up to the lady crying and freaking out. “Mom mom I was peeing and a bullet game out.” The lady calmed her daughter down and explain to her what happened.

A week later her second daughter came up to the lady freaking out. ” mom mom I had my first period and a bullet came out” she calmed her daughter down and explain what happened.

A week after and her son come up to her crying and freaking out. The lady says. “Let me guess… You were peeing and a bullet came out” “No” said the boy ” I was playing with myself and I shot the dog”

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