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A restaurant manager is closing up for the night…

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A restaurant manager is closing up for the night…

…when he notices a man, disheveled and looking rather worse for wear, standing outside, tapping on the door. The manager opens the door, assuming the man is homeless.

“Sorry, mate, you wouldn’t happen to have a spare fork going, would you?”, the homeless guy asks.

“Sure,” the manager tells him, as he grabs a fork from the cutlery drawer he’d been cleaning and hands it to him. The homeless guy tips his hat in gesture and walks away.

Five minutes later, the manager hears yet another knock on the glass, and sees a man of a similar state standing outside his restaurant. The manager sighs as he opens the door.

“Sorry to bother you so late, pal. Do you have a spare spoon that you don’t need anymore? Dessert or teaspoon, doesn’t matter which size.”

“You’re the second man looking for a piece of cutlery tonight!”, the manager shouts over his shoulder as he retrieves a dessert spoon from the drawer. He walks back and hands it to him.

“Thanks very much, have a nice night,” the homeless man says, as he walks off into the night.

Shortly after, a third man raps on the restaurant door. Annoyed, the manager storms over to the door and loses his temper.

“What, do you need a knife to go with that set your buddies took from me, too?”

“No, a straw, actually,” replies the homeless man.

The manager shoots him a puzzled look. “A straw? That’s it? What for?”

“Well, some poor lad’s after throwing up outside and all the good bits are gone.”

Jokes

Three men are walking in the desert

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Three men are walking in the desert

Three men are walking in a desert when they stumble across a wizard next to a magical slide ‘Slide down this ride shout out the name of your favorite drink’ the wizard commands

The three men question his logic but never the less the first man climbs to the top of the slide and begins to slide down ‘Coke’ the man shouts and to his amazement he winds up in a pool of coke The second man is already at the top as he slides down he yells ‘Fanta’ and he too ends up in a pool of his favorite beverage.

The last man is up at the top of the slide is is a lot dumber then his comrades and is known for being idiotic sooooo when he is sliding down forgetting about what he is doing and enjoying himself he screams ‘weeeeeeeeeee’

Splash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well I don’t know what you were expecting

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Three Engineers are Discussing God

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Three Engineers are Discussing God

The structural engineer says “I think God must’ve been a structural engineer. The musculoskeletal system is perfectly designed to allow us to walk upright.”

The electrical engineer says “Interesting, but you are obviously wrong. God is an electrical engineer. The nervous system is so complex and finely tuned, He couldn’t be anything else!”

The civil engineer turns to them both and declares “you’re both wrong. Only a civil engineer would run a sewage line through a recreational area.”

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Jokes

A man’s walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows.

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A man’s walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows.

A man’s walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows.

“Twenty bucks,” she says.

He’s never been with a hooker before, but he decides what the hell. They’re going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them… it’s a police officer.

“What’s going on here, people?” asks the officer.

“I’m making love to my wife,” the man answers indignantly.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” says the cop, “I didn’t know.”

“Well,” said the man, “neither did I until you shined that light in her face.”

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