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A restaurant manager is closing up for the night…

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A restaurant manager is closing up for the night…

…when he notices a man, disheveled and looking rather worse for wear, standing outside, tapping on the door. The manager opens the door, assuming the man is homeless.

“Sorry, mate, you wouldn’t happen to have a spare fork going, would you?”, the homeless guy asks.

“Sure,” the manager tells him, as he grabs a fork from the cutlery drawer he’d been cleaning and hands it to him. The homeless guy tips his hat in gesture and walks away.

Five minutes later, the manager hears yet another knock on the glass, and sees a man of a similar state standing outside his restaurant. The manager sighs as he opens the door.

“Sorry to bother you so late, pal. Do you have a spare spoon that you don’t need anymore? Dessert or teaspoon, doesn’t matter which size.”

“You’re the second man looking for a piece of cutlery tonight!”, the manager shouts over his shoulder as he retrieves a dessert spoon from the drawer. He walks back and hands it to him.

“Thanks very much, have a nice night,” the homeless man says, as he walks off into the night.

Shortly after, a third man raps on the restaurant door. Annoyed, the manager storms over to the door and loses his temper.

“What, do you need a knife to go with that set your buddies took from me, too?”

“No, a straw, actually,” replies the homeless man.

The manager shoots him a puzzled look. “A straw? That’s it? What for?”

“Well, some poor lad’s after throwing up outside and all the good bits are gone.”

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Yesterday I met my friend from Slovakia.

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Yesterday I met my friend from Slovakia.

He had just opened up a trampoline park near the border there, yet he seemed saddened by something when I walked in. He looked up at me with tired eyes so I asked him what was wrong:

‘What’s the matter?’ I asked. ‘There are many people here, surely business is doing well?’

He replied with a heavy sigh, ‘The ceilings here are too low and the young local people from around here can jump so high that they keep hitting the ceiling! What on earth am I supposed to do and what happens if the roof cracks!?’

The answer seemed simple to me, ‘Surely with all this money coming in you can pay someone to raise the ceiling – you must have enough to pay it off…’

He replied, still disheartened, ‘That may be true, but we’ve had an influx of visitors from across the border in Prague – they don’t tip well and I barely even break even when they come around!’

Resigned to his fate, taking a deep breath and looking down, he said to me: ‘The amount of local visitors may be through the roof but the Czechs keep bouncing.’

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Funny IT Humor Computer Joke: Bill Gate’s New Microsoft Car Operating System

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Bill Gate’s company made software to run a car.

Bill was taking a test ride of the car.

Suddenly a truck came from opposite side.

Bill pressed ctrl+b to apply brakes.

A pop-up window appeared asking, “Are you sure you really want to stop?”

Before Bill could enter “Yes”, there was a crash and the car caught fire.

In panic Bill forgot the password to open the door.

He started shouting “F1! F1!” but there was no computer professional present there to understand his screams.

Then he tried to come out through the car window-pane.

A message appeared on the screen, “An illegal function is performed.

All the window-panes of the car will be closed.” Poor Bill died.

Messengers of death took away his soul and said to him,

“You have never ever performed any good deeds in your life. You always stole the code from others. We are going to send you to hell.”

Bill pleaded, “I am ready to go to hell but do provide me a computer, please.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Messengers of death smiled inwardly and permitted him a computer, but with no Alt, Ctrl and Delete keys on the keyboard.

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Funny Neighbor Joke Of The Day: American NRI Patelbhai

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It was 3.00 AM in the morning and wife Rachel was not able to sleep as her husband was pacing the bedroom floor with self-talking, gesturing with anxiety of some short.

So Rachel asked the husband Jackie:,

“What was so bothering him that he would keep her from sex and also let her not sleep.”

“You know our next door kindly neighbor, Patelbhai.

I had to borrow one thousand dollars from him to pay all your expensive credit card shopping bills.

It is promised to be paid back tomorrow to Patelbhai.”

Then he added somberly,

“and I don’t have money to pay him back. What am I going to say him tomorrow.”

Rachel gets out of bed, opens the window and yells,

“Patelbhai” and then again and again “Patelbhai, hey Patelbhai”.

Finally awakened and wobbling Patel opens the window opposite her and yells back,

“What? What is it, Rachel? It’s 3 AM. What is so emergency. What do you want?”

Rachel says, “You know the $1000 my husband owes you? He doesn’t have it and He would not give it to you tomorrow.”

Rachel then slams the window shut, and turns to Jackie and says,

* * * * * * * *

“Now you go to sleep, let me sleep and let Patelbhai pace the floor till tomorrow morning and beyond.”

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