The police stops a man and woman who have their seatbelts on.

Police: “hi you’re the first people today with their seatbelts on, so we want to give you an award of 5000 dollar.”

The policeman seeing the happy couple gets curious and asks “what are you going to do with the money?”

The man answers: “I’m going to take lessons for my driver’s license”

The woman: ” don’t listen to him. When he is drunk he says stupid things!”

The man on the backseat: “I told you not to ride in a stolen car!”

A voice from the trunk: “did we cross the border?”

Finding one of her student Little Johnny making faces at others on the playground,..

Ms. Smith stopped to gently scold the child.

Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said,

“Johnny, when I was a child,

I was told if that I made ugly faces,

it would freeze and I would stay like that.”

Johnny looked up and replied,

* * * * * * * * * *

“Well, Ms. Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned.”

A minister gave a talk to the community center on sex.

When he got home, he couldn’t tell his wife that he had spoken on sex,

So he said he had discussed “Horseback Riding” with the members.

A few days later, she ran into some men at the shopping center,…

and they complimented her on the speech her husband had made.

She said:,

* * * * * * * * *

“Yes, I heard. I was surprised about the subject matter,… as he’s only tried it twice.

The first time he got so sore he could hardly walk, and the second time he fell off.”