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Air Force Joke: A Little Boy Having a Temper Tantrum

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As the crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a five-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum.

No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him.

Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man in the uniform of an Air Force General is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle.

Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired, courtly, soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boy’s ear.

Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother’s hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt.

All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause.

As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve.

“Excuse me, General,” she asks quietly,

“but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?”

The old man smiles serenely and gently confides, “I showed him my pilot’s wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door, on any flight I choose.”

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Funny Naughty Grandparents Joke: Grandpa With No Pants

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A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed,..

His grandfather sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down.

“Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out in the wind for everyone to see!” he exclaimed.

The old man looked off in the distance without answering.

“Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?” he asked again.

The old man slowly looked at him and said,

* * * * * * *

“Well… last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma’s idea.”

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Funny Best Non Veg Joke Of The Day: Smart Dirty Couple

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A couple went to a sex therapists office at ABC Hospital.

The doctor asked, “What can I do for you?”

The man said, “Will you watch us having sex, for your expert analysis?”

The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.

When the couple finished, the doctor said,

“There’s nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse,” and charged them $50/-.

This happened several weeks in a row.

The couple would make an Appointment, have intercourse with no problems, pay the doctor fees and then leave.

Finally the doctor asked, “Just exactly what are you trying to find-out?”

The man said, “We’re not trying to find out anything.

* * * * * * * * *

She’s married And we can’t go to her house – I’m married and we can’t go to my house.

The 5 star hotel charges $3000/-, 3 star hotel charges $1500/-, Any other hotel charges minimum $500/- for one day room.

We do it here for $50/-, and I get that back from Medical Insurance.”

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Stop Means Stop (Long)

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Stop Means Stop (Long)

While on a business trip in Dublin from London, a young lawyer ran a stop sign and got pulled over. Having heard before that the Irish Police are not the cleverest bunch this lawyer thought to himself “This will be easy”.
“Good evening officer, how can i help you today?” The Lawyer says politely. The officer was abrupt with his reply. “Sir, are you aware that you did not bring your vehicle to a complete stop at the stop sign back there.” The lawyer responds ” Yes officer, well you see the thing is I am a little late for a meeting you see. So rather than stop, I slowed my car right down, as I approached the junction I saw no traffic coming from any direction so i rolled through with caution as I seen no reason to stop.” The officer was unimpressed with this answer and explained to the lawyer that this sign does not say slow down , it says to stop. The Lawyer tried to explain his reasoning again but the officer did not want to hear it. “Why don’t you get out of the car and i can give you a quick demonstration of the difference between slowing down and stopping.”

The lawyer complies and steps out of the car at which point the officer takes his baton and starts beating the lawyer viciously. “Agh! Stop!! Stop!!!” Screams the lawyer, is serious pain…. So the officer begins to beat him slowly.

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