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Amazing Technology: Funny Bad Comedy Joke Of The Day

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A guy walks into a bar and sits down.

He starts dialing numbers…

Like a telephone… On his hand and talking into his hand.

The bartender walks over and tells him this is a very tough neighborhood and he doesn’t need any trouble here.

The guy says, “You don’t understand. I’m very hi-tech. I had a phone installed in my hand because I was tired of carrying the cellular.”

The bartender says “Prove it.”

The guy dials up a number and hands his hand to the bartender.

The bartender talks into the hand and carries on a conversation.

“That’s incredible,” says the bartender.

“I would never have believed it!”

“Yeah,” said the guy,

“I can keep in touch with my broker, my wife, you name it. By the way, where is the men’s room?”

The bartender directs him to the men’s room.

The guy goes in and 5, 10, 20 minutes go by and he doesn’t return.

Fearing the worst given the neighborhood, the bartender goes into the men’s room.

There is the guy spread-eagle on the wall.

His pants are pulled down and he has a roll of toilet paper up his butt.

“Oh my god!” said the bartender.

“Did they rob you? Are you hurt?”

The guy turns and says:

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“No, I’m ok. I’m just waiting for a fax.”

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Funny Clean Courtroom Joke Of The Day: Innocent Accused?

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A man accused of theft was appearing before the Judge.

“Your Honor,” his lawyer said,

“I feel it is very unfair for my client to be accused of robbery.

He is an illegal immigrant, has just arrived in America and is guest in our city.

Unable to find his way he roams all around curiously.

He came to this country with knowledge of only a few words of our great English,

which pertains to his livelihood skills back from his mother country.”

The irritant Judge looked in disgust at the defendant and asked,

“How much English do you speak?”

The lawyer translated that to the defendant, defendant looked the judge in the eyes and replied,

* * * * *

“Give me your wallet!”

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Simple Clean Comedy Joke Of The Day: The Plumber On Run

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A man knocked the door of house.

The lady opened the door.

The man said, “I am the here on the run, to fix your leaky pipe.”

The Lady said, “We don’t have any leaky pipe here.”

The plumber on run, says,

“My note reads, your house called for a Plumbing Emergency, address looks exact, Aren’t you Mrs. Smith?”

The Lady says, “No, Smiths moved away about a year back from this house. We are Johnson.”

The plumber grimaces,

* * * * * * * *

“What kind of people are they, Calls for an Emergency repair and then move away.”

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A pregnant lady.

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A pregnant lady.

A lady who was pregnant with triplets was walking down the street one night and got robbed. She refused to give the robber any money so she was shot 3 times in the stomach. Miraculously she and all three children survived. She eventually have birth to two females and one male.

14 years later, her first daughter came up to the lady crying and freaking out. “Mom mom I was peeing and a bullet game out.” The lady calmed her daughter down and explain to her what happened.

A week later her second daughter came up to the lady freaking out. ” mom mom I had my first period and a bullet came out” she calmed her daughter down and explain what happened.

A week after and her son come up to her crying and freaking out. The lady says. “Let me guess… You were peeing and a bullet came out” “No” said the boy ” I was playing with myself and I shot the dog”

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