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An Arabic, an American, an Australian and an Israeli flew on an airplane

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An Arabic, an American, an Australian and an Israeli flew on an airplane

The pilot says in the mic: “Gentlemen, we are sorry but the left engine stopped working. We only have 3 parachutes left. decide between yourselfes who is going to jump.”

The American takes a parachute and say: “We are the strongest nation.” And jumps.

The Arabic takes a parachute and says: “We are the most intelligent nation.” And jumps.

The Israeli tells the Australian: “Go take a parachute.”

The Australian asks: “And what about you?”

The Israeli replied: “Don’t worry the intelligent one took a sleeping bag.”

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Funny Clean Parenting Joke: Human Race Creation Or Evolution?

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A little girl asked her father:

“How did the human race appear?”

The father answered:

“God made Adam and Eve; they had children; and so was all mankind made.”

Two days later the girl asked her mother the same question.

The mother answered:

“Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.”

The confused girl returned to her father and said:

“Dad, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Mom said they developed from monkeys?”

The father answered:

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Well, Dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family, and your mother told you about hers.”

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Funny Doctor Joke: Nurse v/s Patient’s Simple Operation

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A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation.

A nurse stopped him and asked,

“What’s the matter?”

He said, “I heard the nurse say,

‘It’s a very simple operation, don’t worry,

I’m sure it will be all right.’”

Nurse said:

“She was just trying to comfort you,

what’s so frightening about that?”

Man Said:

* * * * * * * * * *

“She wasn’t talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!”

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A really long story… but worth it?

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A really long story… but worth it?

Once upon a time, there was a father and a son. The son’s name was Malcom and Malcom’s father loved him very much as he was a single father giving all his love to his son, Malcom.

When Malcom turned 14, his father asked him what he would like for his birthday. Malcom just replied with a single lightbulb. His father looked at him in confusion but nevertheless got a single lightbulb and wrapped it up and gave it to his son. Malcom opened the gift and stared in awe, “Gee, thanks dad! Love this gift!” His father smiled and they hugged each other.

Another year rolled past, and on Malcom’s 15th birthday, his father asked what he wanted. Malcom thought for a while and finally decided on a box of lightbulbs. His father looked at him in confusion but nevertheless got a box of lightbulbs and wrapped it up and gave it to his son. Malcom opened the gift and stared in awe, “Gee, thanks dad! Love this gift!” His father smiled and they hugged each other.

Once again, another year rolled around, and on Malcom’s 16th birthday, his father asked him yet the same old question. Malcom again, stared at the ceiling thinking hard about it. Malcom replied with a ROOM FULL OF LIGHTBULBS. His father looked at him in confusion but nevertheless got a full room fulled with lightbulbs and gave it to his son. Malcom opened the gift and stared in awe, “Gee, thanks dad! Love this gift!” Malcom jumped in joy and his father smiled and they hugged each other.

On Malcom’s 17th birthday, his dad came around to his room and asked him the same old question. What would he like for his 17th birthday. Malcom thought hard and this time it was a different expression.

“Dad… I want a warehouse full of lightbulbs…” he mumbled.

His dad, shocked, replied with a stutter. He was flabbergasted, not knowing at all what to do next. He nodded his head and said. Yes son. I will try my best.

The next day came and Malcom was with his dad on his way to the warehouse. His father opened the large door and spilling out was a whole lot of lightbulbs. There must’ve been at least a million! Malcom jumped gleefully up and down and cried out best birthday gift ever! His father smiled and they both hugged each other.

For Malcom’s 18th birthday, his father asked Malcom if he would like tuition money for college. Malcom thought about the offer but replied with no dad. I want a whole mansion filled with lightbulbs. His dad replied with a simple no and requested he followed him to his car.

Once they were about 5 minutes into driving, Malcom’s father turned to him and questioned him, “Son… for over 4 years, I’ve given you quite a bit of lightbulbs… and I would like to know what you are doing with the lightbulbs,”

Malcom too focused on his college papers ignored his father. His dad furious, snapped at Malcom, however this ended up making his father lose control of the steering wheel and they both slammed into a tree. Unfortunately for Malcom, the passenger seat was crippled by a long branch and Malcom was rushed to the hospital.

The next day, Malcom’s father came into the ER. He placed himself calmly next to Malcom.

“Son, I’m so sorry about what happened yesterday. For my actions, what would you like me to do?”

“I…I… I want a box of lightbulbs…” he hoarsely replied.

His father nodded and without another word he came back with a box wrapped up and placed it on top of Malcom’s stomach. Malcom began to unravel the box and opened it. To no one’s surprise, it was average grade lightbulbs. They both looked at each other happily and smiles.

“Son, I know that you were in a terrible accident with me yesterday… but I really must know what you were doing with all these lightbulbs,”

His son placed the lightbulbs on the side.

“I…I…”

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

The cardiac monitor went.

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