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Best Marriage Humor Joke: A Man & A Woman Sleeping in Train

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A man and a woman, who had never met before, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two were tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

At 2:00 AM, he leaned over and gently wakes the woman, saying,

“Ma’am, I’m sorry to bother you, but would you be kind enough to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I’m awfully cold.”

“I have a better idea,” she replied.

“Just for tonight, why don’t we pretend that we’re married?”

“Wow! That’s a great idea!!” he is excited.

And she said.

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

“Then get up and take it yourself”!!

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Top 7 Best Funny And Bad Short Dirty Jokes: Dark Humor

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There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box.

The Female pencil got pregnant!!

Which Male pencil is responsible?

* * * * * *

ANSWER: THE ONE WITHOUT THE RUBBER.

Woman in bed with husband’s best friend, phone rings!

“YES”.. “OK, BYE”.

She turns to her lover and says,

* * * * * * *

“THAT’S MY HUBBY, SAYS HE’S NOW GOLFING WITH YOU.”

Three Roosters: normal, retarded and a gay.

Normal : cock-a-doodle-dooo !!!

Retarded : doodle-cock-a-dooo !!!

Gay : any-cock-will dooo !!!

Three Guys were introduced to a girl.

“Hi,…. I’m Peter, not a SAINT.”

“I’m Paul not a POPE.”

“I’m John not a BAPTIST…”

The girl replied..

* * * * * *

“Hi.. I’m Mary, not a VIRGIN.”

Girlfriends are like appetizers.

Taste good at any time.

Mistresses are Tomyams.

Hot and spicy. Eaten frequently.

WIVES are Maggie.

Eaten when there’s nothing to eat.!!!

Income Tax office asked a Prostitute why she puts her occupation as CHICKEN FARMER.

She replied:

* * * * * * * *

“I RAISED 5,000 COCKS LAST YEAR.!!”

Yesterday’s News:-

A nun jogging at Jogger’s Park was raped by 4 guys.

Today’s News:-

* * * * * *

Nearly 100 nuns found jogging at the park.

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Predicting the weather

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Predicting the weather

A local news station is is starting its broadcast for the daily weather and they start talking about rain for the day. The meteorologist starts in “We are looking at about a 60% chance of rain for the day mostly cloudy.” In the back of the station someone chirps up “Hey it’s raining right now!” The meteorologist looks back into the camera and says “Looks like there has been a slight change in the forecast, we are now looking at a 90% chance of rain”

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Naughty Office Joke Of The Day: Dad, Secretary & Little Daughter

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Joke Title: Doll

A man comes home with his little daughter,

whom he has just taken to work.

The little girl asks,

“I saw you in your office with your secretary.

Why do you call her a doll?”

Feeling his wife’s gaze upon him, the man explains,

“Well, honey, my secretary is a very hard-working girl.

She types like you wouldn’t believe,

she knows the computer system and is very efficient.”

“Oh,” says the little girl,

* * * * * * *

“I thought it was because she closed her eyes when you lay her down on the couch.”

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