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Best Naughty Joke Of The Day: Old Men Are Fast Thinkers Beware

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One old farmer had a large pond in the back,..

fixed up nicely with picnic tables, a barbecue pit, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.

The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening, the old guy decided to go down to the pond and look it over.

He hadn’t been there for a while.

He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond.

As he approached, he made the women aware of his presence.

At once, they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him,

“We’re not coming out until you leave.”

The old man frowned,

“I did not come down here to watch you young ladies swim naked, or to make you get out of the pond naked.”

Holding up the bucket, he said,

* * * * * * * *

“I’m here to feed the alligator.”

Moral: Old men can still think fast!

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Funny Clean Blonde Joke Of The Day: Dumb & Stupid Together

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Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out.

They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out.

After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others

“I think the best way to call for help is by yelling together.”

The others agree with the first, so they all inhale deeply and begin to yell loudly,…

* * * * * * * *

“Together, together, together.”

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Husband Wife Short Joke Of The Day: How To Enjoy Sunday?

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Husband [:D] Darling, my sweet heart I will be enjoying this Sunday.

Wife: How?

Husband: I bought three tickets for the movie.

Wife: thats great, but we are two, why you bought three tickets ???

* * * * * * *

Husband: Darling one for you, one for your mother and one for your brother. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Clean Office Joke: Man Goes Into A Pet Shop To Buy A Monkey

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A man goes into a pet shop to buy a monkey.

The shop owner points to 3 identical looking monkeys on a perch and says the monkey on the left cost $ 500.00

Why does that one cost so much? asked the shopper.

The owner says well the monkey knows how to use a computer.

The man then asks about the next monkey and was told that this one cost $1000.00,…

because it can do everything the other monkey can do plus he knows the Unix operating system.

Naturally the increasingly startled man asks about the third monkey to be told that it costs $ 2000.00

Needles to say this begs the question.

What can it do?

To which the owner replies:

* * * * * * * * * * * *

“To be honest I have never seen him do a thing but the other two call him BOSS.”

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