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Clean Family Joke: Couple Had Been Married For Over 50 Years



A couple had been married for over 50 years and had many children and grandchildren.

One day, the eldest son calls his father for a normal chat and his father starts musing.

“You know son, after 50 years, I’m not really in love with your mother any more,…

I’m thinking of getting a divorce and leaving her.”

The son is absolutely shocked and says:

“Dad, please don’t do anything rash. You love mom! You’ve had 50 wonderful years together,…

I’m going to call all of my siblings and we’re going to figure this out”.

Panicked, the son calls all of his siblings and asks them what they should do.

All of the siblings agree that this situation needs some serious intervention and they all happened to be free in two weeks.

The son calls his father back and says:

“Dad, please hold out for two more weeks.

All of my siblings and I will be home to talk some sense into you.

You can’t just abandon this loving, amazing marriage.”

His father considers it for a minute or so and says:

“Okay, but this is going to be tough. I’ll hold off on my decision.”

The son, relieved, hangs up after telling his father he loves him.

The father walks quickly into the other room and says to his wife:

* * * * * * * * * * * *

“GREAT NEWS honey!

All of the kids will be here for the Christmas Holidays! AND they’re paying for their own tickets!”


Simple Clean Comedy Joke Of The Day: The Plumber On Run



A man knocked the door of house.

The lady opened the door.

The man said, “I am the here on the run, to fix your leaky pipe.”

The Lady said, “We don’t have any leaky pipe here.”

The plumber on run, says,

“My note reads, your house called for a Plumbing Emergency, address looks exact, Aren’t you Mrs. Smith?”

The Lady says, “No, Smiths moved away about a year back from this house. We are Johnson.”

The plumber grimaces,

* * * * * * * *

“What kind of people are they, Calls for an Emergency repair and then move away.”

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A pregnant lady.



A pregnant lady.

A lady who was pregnant with triplets was walking down the street one night and got robbed. She refused to give the robber any money so she was shot 3 times in the stomach. Miraculously she and all three children survived. She eventually have birth to two females and one male.

14 years later, her first daughter came up to the lady crying and freaking out. “Mom mom I was peeing and a bullet game out.” The lady calmed her daughter down and explain to her what happened.

A week later her second daughter came up to the lady freaking out. ” mom mom I had my first period and a bullet came out” she calmed her daughter down and explain what happened.

A week after and her son come up to her crying and freaking out. The lady says. “Let me guess… You were peeing and a bullet came out” “No” said the boy ” I was playing with myself and I shot the dog”

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Funny Politician Joke Of The Day: Cannibal Restaurant Menu



A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal.

Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu…

Tourist: $5 Broiled Missionary: $10.00 Fried Explorer: $15.00 Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican: $100.00

The cannibal called the waiter over and asked,

“Why such a price difference for the Politician?”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The cook replied, “Have you ever tried to clean one? They’re so full of shit, it takes all morning.”

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