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Despite Brexit, English is set to become the EU official language

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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union, given its majority status in the EU, despite the UK leaving.

As part of the final Brexit negotiations, Germany proposed a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as “Euro-English”. Germany argued that this may make the EU more inviting to the UK in the future.

In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of “k”. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

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Simple Clean Comedy Joke: American Couple V/S African Boy

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Joke Title: No Untruth

One American Couple went to Africa for their Honeymoon.

While walking on the countryside they saw one beautiful lake.

There was one little boy standing and enjoying the atmosphere on the bank.

They asked him whether there are any sharks in the lake.

He said: “No”.

They jumped in the lake but after few minutes they got suspicious.

They came back and asked the boy,…

“Are you sure there are no sharks ?”

He replied:

* * * * * * *

“Believe me, Sharks don’t come where there are Crocodiles”.

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Funny Bad Nurse Joke Of The Day: Size – Does It Matter?

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A young man was so paranoid about the size of his penis that he could never work up the courage to have sex.

Then one day he fell in love with a nurse.

One fine evening, they went back to her place.

She put on some soft music and led him into the bedroom.

Totally mortified, he told her of his problem.

“Don’t worry,” She said.

“I’m a nurse. I won’t laugh.”

Blushing the man drops his trousers.

“It’s OK,” she said.

“I’ve seen lots smaller than that.”

“Really?” the relieved man asked.

She nodded. “Yes,” she chuckled,

* * * * * *

“I used to work in the maternity unit.”

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Naughty Funny Marriage Humor Joke For Women: Men Are Like

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Now days, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY?

Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.

#1. Men are like,… Laxatives,… They irritate the crap out of you.

#2. Men are like,… Bananas,… The older they get, the less firm they are.

#3. Men are like,… Weather,… Nothing can be done to change them.

#4. Men are like,… Blenders,… You need One, but you’re not quite sure why.

#5. Men are like,… Chocolate Bars,… Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

#6. Men are like,… Commercials,… You can’t believe a word they say.

#7. Men are like,… Department Stores,… Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

#8. Men are like,… Government Bonds,… They take soooooooo long to mature.

#9. Men are like,… Mascara,… They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

#10. Men are like,… Popcorn,… They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

#11. Men are like,… Snowstorms,… You never know when they’re coming, how many inches you’ll get or how long it will last.

#12. Men are like,… Lava Lamps,… Fun to look at, but not very bright.

#13. Men are like,… Parking Spots,… All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

Now send this to all the remarkable women you know, as well as to any understanding good-natured, fun kinda guys you might be lucky enough to know.

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