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Dirty Joke: Three Men, A Philosopher, A Mathematician & An Idiot

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Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree.

Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven,…

Where St. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby.

“Gentlemen,” the Devil started,

“Due to the fact that Heaven is now overcrowded, St. Peter has agreed to limit the number of people entering Heaven.

If anyone of you can ask me a question which I don’t know or cannot answer,…

Then you’re worthy enough to go to Heaven; if not, then you’ll come with me to Hell.”

The philosopher then stepped up,…

“OK, give me the most comprehensive report on Socrates’ teachings.”

With a snap of his finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil.

The philosopher read it and concluded it was correct.

“Then, go to Hell!”

With another snap of his finger, the philosopher disappeared.

The mathematician then asked,…

“Give me the most complicated formula ever theorized!”

With a snap of his finger,…

Another stack of paper appeared next to the Devil.

The mathematician read it and reluctantly agreed it was correct.

“Then, go to Hell!”

With another snap of his finger, the mathematician disappeared too.

The idiot then stepped forward and said,…

“Bring me a chair!”

The Devil brought forward a chair.

“Drill 7 holes on the seat.”

The Devil did just that.

The idiot then sat on the chair and let out a very loud fart.

Standing up, he asked,…

“Which hole did my fart come out from?”

The Devil inspected the seat and said,…

“The third hole from the right.”

* * * * * * * * * * * *

“Wrong,” said the idiot, “it’s from my asshole.”

And the idiot went to heaven.

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The boy with no name.

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The boy with no name.

There once was a boy with no name. He went to school one day and his teacher asked for his name to witch the boy sadly replied, “I don’t know ma’am.” The boy went home crying because he didn’t know his own name, so he went to ask his mother.

His mother had a pair of really big boobs that touched the cutting board she was using. Suddenly the boy crept up on her and cried loudly, “MOMMY WHAT’S MY NAME!?” The boy’s mother was startled and accidentally chopped off both of her nipples. She screamed, “MY TITTIES!!!” As she bled all over the place. The boy was satisfied and said, “thanks Mommy!” As he skipped away.

The next day at school the boy proudly announced that his name was My Titties. On that day no one played with the boy on recess making his teacher feel bad for him. So she announced, “if no one plays with my titties this instant I’ll force you inside and make sure your punished!”

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Simple Clean Comedy Joke: American Couple V/S African Boy

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Joke Title: No Untruth

One American Couple went to Africa for their Honeymoon.

While walking on the countryside they saw one beautiful lake.

There was one little boy standing and enjoying the atmosphere on the bank.

They asked him whether there are any sharks in the lake.

He said: “No”.

They jumped in the lake but after few minutes they got suspicious.

They came back and asked the boy,…

“Are you sure there are no sharks ?”

He replied:

* * * * * * *

“Believe me, Sharks don’t come where there are Crocodiles”.

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Funny Bad Nurse Joke Of The Day: Size – Does It Matter?

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A young man was so paranoid about the size of his penis that he could never work up the courage to have sex.

Then one day he fell in love with a nurse.

One fine evening, they went back to her place.

She put on some soft music and led him into the bedroom.

Totally mortified, he told her of his problem.

“Don’t worry,” She said.

“I’m a nurse. I won’t laugh.”

Blushing the man drops his trousers.

“It’s OK,” she said.

“I’ve seen lots smaller than that.”

“Really?” the relieved man asked.

She nodded. “Yes,” she chuckled,

* * * * * *

“I used to work in the maternity unit.”

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