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Dirty Parrots Funny Joke: A Woman Approaches A Priest

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Joke Title: Who Needs Prayers?

A lady approaches a priest and tells him,

“Father, I have a problem.

I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.

They keep saying “Hi, we’re hot. Do you want a date?”

“That’s terrible!” the priest exclaimed.

“But I do have a solution to your problem.

Bring your two parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots,…

to whom I have taught to pray and read the bible.

My parrots will then teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase,

and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship.”

So the next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priest’s house.

The priest’s two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage.

The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male talking Parrots,

and the female parrots say,

“Hi, we’re hot. Do you want a date?”

One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and screams,

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Put your Bible away Idiot, our prayers have been answered !!!!!!!”

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Funny Long Naughty Story Joke: Cinderella is Now 95 Years Old

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After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship.

One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, appeared the fairy godmother.

Cinderella said, “Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?”

The fairy godmother replied,

“Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary life since I last saw you. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?”

Cinderella was taken aback, overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, she uttered her first wish:

“The prince was wonderful, but not much of an investor. I’m living hand to mouth on my disability cheques, and I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension.”

Instantly her rocking chair turned into solid gold.

Cinderella said, “Ooh, thank you, Fairy Godmother.”

The fairy godmother replied, “It is the least that I can do. What do you want for your second wish?”

Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said,

“I wish I were young and full of the beauty and youth I once had.”

At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful young visage returned.

Cinderella felt stirrings inside of her that had been dormant for years.

And then the fairy godmother spoke once more:

“You have one more wish; what shall it be?”

Cinderella looks over to the frightened cat in the corner and says,

“I wish for you to transform Bob, my old cat, into a kind and handsome young man.”

Magically, Bob suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up that, when he stood before her, he was a man so beautiful the likes of him neither she nor the world had ever seen.

The fairy godmother said,

“Congratulations, Cinderella, enjoy your new life.”

With a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, the fairy godmother was gone as suddenly as she appeared.

For a few eerie moments, Bob and Cinderella looked into each other’s eyes.

Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most beautiful!, stunningly perfect man she had ever seen.

Then Bob walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair.

He held her close in his young muscular arms.

He leaned in close, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath as he whispered…

* * * * * * *

“Bet you’re sorry you had me castrated.”

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A man goes to the store to get a hot water bottle

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A man goes to the store to get a hot water bottle

A man goes to the store to get a hot water bottle. The clerk tells him he has just sold his last one. But if he wants to, he can take the cat, which should also accomplish the same goal of keeping his bed warm. The man agrees and goes home with the cat.

The next day the man goes back to store with scratches all over his body. The clerk, shocked, asks the man what had happened with the cat. The man replies: “Well, it was fine at first, he even managed to endure the funnel up his ass… But when it came to the hot water…”

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Funny Best Marriage Humor: Husband’s Mid Life Crises

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When I was married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said,

“Honey, 25 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV,

but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year-old blonde.”

“Now we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV,

but I’m sleeping with a 50-year-old woman.

It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things.”

My wife is a very reasonable woman.

She told me to go out and find a hot 25-year-old blonde,

* * * * * * * * * * *

and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.”

Aren’t older women great?

They really know how to solve your mid life crisis.

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