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Dirty Parrots Funny Joke: A Woman Approaches A Priest

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Joke Title: Who Needs Prayers?

A lady approaches a priest and tells him,

“Father, I have a problem.

I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.

They keep saying “Hi, we’re hot. Do you want a date?”

“That’s terrible!” the priest exclaimed.

“But I do have a solution to your problem.

Bring your two parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots,…

to whom I have taught to pray and read the bible.

My parrots will then teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase,

and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship.”

So the next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priest’s house.

The priest’s two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage.

The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male talking Parrots,

and the female parrots say,

“Hi, we’re hot. Do you want a date?”

One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and screams,

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Put your Bible away Idiot, our prayers have been answered !!!!!!!”

Jokes

Three men attend a job interview to join the FBI.

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Three men attend a job interview to join the FBI.

The first man walked into the office, and the FBI agent who was conducting the interview explained: ‘To be in the FBI, you must be loyal, dedicated and willing to obey orders. Here’s the scenario: your wife is sitting on a chair in the next room, and I want you to go in there and shoot her with this gun.’ The man took the gun, but then hesitated and said: ‘Sorry, I can’t do it.’

Next it was the second man’s turn to be interviewed. The FBI agent told him: ‘To be in the FBI, you must be loyal, dedicated and willing to obey orders. Here’s the scenario: your wife is sitting on a chair in the next room, and I want you to go in there and shoot her with this gun.’ The man took the gun, walked out again. ‘Sorry,’ he said, ‘I can’t do it.’

Finally it was the third man’s turn. The FBI agent told him: ‘To be in the FBI, you must be loyal, dedicated and willing to obey orders. Here’s the scenario: your wife is sitting on a chair in the next room, and I want you to go in there and shoot her with this gun.’ The man took the gun and went into the room. The agent heard six shots, silence, then a lot of screaming. Seconds later the man came out of the room, saying: ‘Some idiot loaded the gun with blanks, so I had to beat her to death with the chair!’

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The boss of a mining company is trying to decide which of his 3 sons to promote, so he gives them a test…

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The boss of a mining company is trying to decide which of his 3 sons to promote, so he gives them a test…

He sits them all down and tells them: “There is bound to come a time in this company when you will hit a sudden economic crisis. When these times come you must know how to cut down on expenses and do the best you can with what budget you have. ” He then proceeds to give them each 1000 dollars, and tells them that he will come back to the mine in a week, and see which of them have been able to move the most ore with the money they were given.

He returns after one week to check up on them, and approaches his oldest son.
“How much digging have you been able to do?” He asks
“3 tons of ore, father. I used 300 dollars to buy a broken digger, I then used my business contacts to find a mechanic willing to fix it for just 200 dollars if I gave his 5 kids a job. The youth is so desperate for a job this day, they will do 12 hour shifts even for an internship, and I only had to pay them 100 dollars each for a week of work”

The father pats his son proudly on the shoulder before moving on to his middle child, asking him how much mining he had been able to do as well.

“10 tons of ore, father. I used 100 dollars to run a local ad in the newspaper asking for workers, then took in 75 undocumented immigrants who all brought their own tools and shovels. They’re all so afraid of being taken by immigration that they’re willing to work for half minimum wage.”

The father looks skeptically at his son for a while, but notices the massive piles of ore the workers are carrying out, and gives him a nod before carrying on to his youngest son.

“How much mining have you been able to do?” Asks the father
“35 tons, dad, but I didn’t use any of the budget.”
The father looks at him in awe, his jaw dropping “How were you able to move 35 tons of ore for free!?”

“I invited a bunch of conspiracy theorists. They just keep digging deeper and deeper thinking they’re going to find something, and every time I tell them to take a break they accuse me of trying to withhold the truth from them!”

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Have you ever thought about…

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Have you ever thought about…

…the range of words which have a Grecian root? There are lots of such words in mathematics, like “geometry”.

Some of these words have an interesting derivation. A contemporary of Pythagoras was watching a parrot playing with some twigs, once upon a time. Although birds often play with twigs and leaves and branches, this parrot, to the mathematician’s amazement, actually arranged the pieces of wood into some sort of a pattern. Then, unfortunately, the bird keeled over, dead.

The mathematician was so moved that he named the shape, “Dead parrot,” although — of course — he said it in Greek.

Which is why we call that shape a polygon.

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