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Dumb Husband Joke: This Man Doesn’t Know What to Make of His Wife’s Request

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A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror.

Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she’d like to have for her birthday.

“I’d like to be six again”,

She replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park.

What a day! He put her on every ride in the park – the Death Slide, Wall of Fear, Screaming Monster Roller Coaster – everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park.

Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.

He then took her to a McDonald’s where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M’s.

What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked,

“Well Dear, what was it like being six again??”

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression changed,

* * * * * * * * * * *

“I meant my dress size, you dumbass!”

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Funny Husband Wife Clean Joke Of The Day: Men Will Be Men

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The room was full of pregnant women and their partners.

The Lamaze class was in full swing.

The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.

“Ladies, exercise is good for you,” announced the teacher.

“Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn’t hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!”

The room was very quiet.

Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.

“Yes?” asked the instructor.

* * * * * * * * *

“Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?”

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Funny Clean Short Joke: Good Family v/s High Telephone Bill

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The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a family meeting…

Dad: People this is unacceptable.

You have to limit the use of the phone.

I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office.

Mom: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone.

Son: Me too, I never use the home phone. I always use my company mobile.

* * * * * * * *

Maid: So what is the problem? We all use our work telephones.

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I’ve been living with a devastating chronic neck pain…

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I’ve been living with a devastating chronic neck pain…

and have never been able to do anything about it. It’s been really hard to lead a normal life. It’s so bad that if I turn my neck even the slightest to the left or right I’ll be hit by a pain so bad it can only be described as someone driving a nail through my neck.

Well as you might expect I’ve done everything I could to help relieve myself of the pain. I’ve seen every doctor, had every treatment, taken every medicine, and by God, even smoked the devil’s grass. But none of it has worked!

But recently I read an article online about a man who traveled to a monastery out in Tibet who apparently specialized in what is called “body-healing”. These are people who then, with the mind, are able to heal themselves of all sorts of problems!

So I took the chance, I decided I was going to fly out to Tibet and go see this monastery. I had nothing to lose.

After having landed in Tibet I took a cab out into the mountains and was dropped off walking distance away from the monastery. Once there I was greeted by one of the monks. He eyed me up and down and then looked me in the eyes.

“I sense a great pain coming from you, friend”, he said.

I stayed quiet as he moved his hands up and towards my neck. He grabbed a fast hold and I felt a slight pain.

“I have seen men like you before. No treatment or medicine is strong enough. But we monks have the solution.”

My eyes widened as he uttered the words – words that I will never forget:

“This is what you must do: never look back”

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