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Funny Bad Joke: Innocent Arab Grandpa In Italian Hospital

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An Arab family residing in Europe was considering putting their grandfather (Abdullah) in a nursing home.

All the Arab Facilities were completely full,

so they had to put him in an Italian nursing home.

After a few weeks in the Italian facility, they came to visit Grandpa.

“How do you like it here?” asked the grandson.

“It’s wonderful! Everyone here is so courteous and respectful.” said grandpa.

“We’re so happy for you.

We were worried that this was the wrong place for you,

since you are a little different from everyone.”

“Oh, no! Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the residents,”

Abdullah said with a big smile.

“There’s a musician here –

he’s 85 years old. He hasn’t played the violin in 20 years, and everyone still calls him Maestro!

There is a judge in here –

he’s 95 years old. He hasn’t been on the bench in 30 years and everyone still calls him Your Honor!

There’s a dentist here –

90 years old. He hasn’t fixed a tooth for 25 years, and everyone still calls him Doctor!

And Me –

I haven’t had s*x for 35 years, and they still call me The F**king Arab.”

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A man goes to a confession booth…

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A man goes to a confession booth…

Man: I committed all 7 deadly sins in about two hours…

Priest: Holy Jesus, let me hear this.

Man: I was angry and envious of my neighbor. I seduced his wife and lazily ate his groceries, and didn’t share any of them.

Priest: Oh thank Heaven, you missed pride.

Man: No, I’m pretty proud of this.

Priest: Say 100 Hail Mary’s for each sin and give alms.

Man: Oh, Father, I’m not catholic.

Priest: Then why are you telling me?

Man: Are you kidding? I’m telling everyone!

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If you let me touch your wife’s ass and smack it, i will pay you $100,000

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If you let me touch your wife’s ass and smack it, i will pay you $100,000 says a guy to his best friend.

His friend gets furious and asks him to mind what he is saying.

Later in the evening the best friend tells this incident to his wife, and she got more angry at him to deny such an offer.

She says, “you can stand right there with us, he is not gonna fuck me. I mean $100,000 for touching and smacking my ass is worth it, we can buy hell lot of stuff”.

The husband agrees and calls his friend over the next day to touch and smack his wife’s ass.

Everyone is in the room now, the wife comes over, removes her skirt and his friend starts touching and feeling his wife’s ass.

Two minutes passed and he is still touching and feeling it.

The husband got angry and screamed, “yo idiot, smack the ass now, enough”

The friend replied, “how can I smack dude, I don’t have $100,000.”

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A man spoke to each of his 3 sons when he sent them off to college…

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A man spoke to each of his 3 sons when he sent them off to college…

“I feel it’s my duty to provide you with the best possible education, and you do not owe me anything for that.  However, I want you to appreciate it.  As a token, please each put $1,000 into my coffin when I die.”

And so it happened.  His sons became a doctor, a lawyer and a financial planner, each very successful financially.  When their father’s time had come, and they saw their father in the coffin, they remembered his wish.
First, the doctor put 10 newly printed crisp $100 bills onto the chest of the deceased.
Then, the financial planner also put $1,000 there in 20 newly printed crisp $50 bills.
Finally, it was the heartbroken lawyer’s turn.  He reached into his pocket, took out his checkbook, wrote a check for $3,000, put it into his father’s coffin, and took the $2,000 cash.
The lawyer is now running for Congress, possibly in your district.

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