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Funny Bad Joke Of The Day: Beautiful Bride V/S Trusted Friend

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All the good knights were leaving for the Crusades.

One knight told his best friend,

“My bride is without doubt one of the most beautiful women in the world.

It would be a terrible waste if no man could have her.

Therefore, as my best and most trusted friend,

I am leaving you the key to her chastity belt to use should I not return from the Crusade.”

The company of knights were only a mile or so out of town when they noticed a cloud of dust approaching.

Thinking it might be an important message from the town the column halted.

A horseman approached. It was the knight’s best friend.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

He said, “Hey, you gave me the wrong key…!!”

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Best Non-Veg Joke: Pregnant Wife V/S Husband’s Labor Pain

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A man took his pregnant wife to the hospital to give birth.

The doctor told them that he’d developed a new machine and asked if they’d like to try it.

The machine would take some of the woman’s pain away and give it to the father there by easing the mothers burden.

The couple thought it was a good idea and agreed to give it a try.

The Doctor set it on 10% to begin with, telling the man that 10% was still probably more pain than he had ever felt.

The man was surprised at how little pain he was feeling and asked for it to be increased.

The doctor turned it up to 20% with the same results.

This trend continued until the machine was set at 100%.

After the delivery both mother and father felt fine.

The wife was relieved at having an almost painless labor and the father was still amazed at how little pain was actually involved.

Later, when they took the baby home,

* * * * * * * * * * * *

They found the mailman dead on their doorstep.

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Good Office Joke: Job Interview, Are You Kidding?

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Reaching the end of a job interview,…

The Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT,

“And what starting salary were you looking for?”

The Engineer said,

“In the neighborhood of $225,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.”

The interviewer said,

“Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation,

14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary,

and a company car leased every two years – say, a red Corvette?”

The Engineer sat up straight and said,

“Wow! Are you kidding?”

* * * * * * * * * * *

And the interviewer replied, “Yeah, but you started it.”

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Funny Comedy Humor: Reason Why I Never Visit 5 Star Hotel

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Question : “What would you like to have .. Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?”

Answer: “Tea please.”

Question : “Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea?”

Answer : “Ceylon tea.”

Question : “How would you like it? black or white?”

Answer : “White.”

Question : “Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk?”

Answer : “With milk.”

Question : “Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk.”

Answer : “With cow milk please.”

Question : “Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?”

Answer : “Um, I’ll take it black.”

Question : “Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?”

Answer : “With sugar.”

Question : “Beet sugar or cane sugar?”

Answer : “Cane sugar.”

Question : “White, brown or yellow sugar?”

Answer : “Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead.”

Question : “Mineral water or still water?”

Answer : “Mineral water.”

Question : “Flavored or non-flavored?”

Answer : “I’ll rather die of thirst.”

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