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Funny Bad Joke Of The Day: Charlie V/S Priest At Church

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Joke Title: Trading Place

Charlie was responsible for taking up the offerings at a local church.

One Sunday, after the service, the priest counted the money and found there was less than anticipated, given the size of the congregation.

He took Charlie aside and questioned him.

Charlie said that he did not take any of the offerings.

The priest questioned him again and again and Charlie continued to insist that he did not take any of the offerings.

So, the priest told Charlie to get into the confessional, which he did.

The priest then asked him again,

“Charlie, did you take any of the offering?” This time, Charlie replied,

“I can’t hear you.”

The priest asked Charlie the same question several times and Charlie would always reply,

“I can’t hear you.”

Finally, the priest yelled, “CHARLIE, DID YOU TAKE ANY OF THE OFFERING?”

Again, the reply was, “I can’t hear you.”

The priest was now beginning to get angry, so he came out of the confessional and said to Charlie,

“Trade places with me and you can ask me a question.”

So, they traded places and Charlie asked,

“Is it true that you and my wife are having an affair?”

To which the priest replied,

* * * * * * * *

“By golly, you’re right, you can’t hear in here.”

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A ship at sea was approached by 2 pirate ships…

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A ship at sea was approached by 2 pirate ships…

The captain of the ship tells his men to get ready for battle, and orders his first mate to go get his red shirt.

After they defeated the pirate ship the first mate approaches the captain and asks “captain why did you want me to get you a red shirt?is it a lucky shirt?”

The captain answered “I wanted the red shirt so that if I was injured during battle you and the rest of the crew wouldn’t see me bleeding and become afraid.”

The men were amazed by his answer

A few days later they were approached by 5 pirate ships. The first mate running to his captain asked “should I get you your red shirt?”

The captain calmly answered,” No, I will need my brown pants.”

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Best Friends Funny Bad Joke: It Could Have Been Worse

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Three friends had a very good friend named Joe and he was, naturally, an eternal optimist.

At every bad situation he would always say

“It could have been worse.”

His friends hated that quality about him,

So they came up with a story so horrible that not even Joe could come up with a bright side.

So the next day, only two of his friends showed up for a golf date.

Joe asked, “Where’s Gary?”

And one of his friends said,

“Didn’t you hear? Yesterday, Gary found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both, and then turned the gun on himself.”

Joe says, “Well it could have been worse.”

Both his friends said,

“How in hell could it be worse? Your best friend just killed himself!”

Joe says,

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“If it had happened two days ago, I’d be dead now!”

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Funny Comedy Joke Of The Day: Polish Divorce V/S Lawyer

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A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.

Although his English was far from perfect,…

They got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.

The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances,…

And asked him the following questions:

L: Have you any grounds?

P: Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.

L: No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?

P: It made of concrete.

L: I don’t think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?

P: No, we have carport, and not need one.

L: I mean. What are your relations like?

P: All my relations still in Poland.

L: Is there any infidelity in your marriage?

P: We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

L: Does your wife beat you up?

P: No, I always up before her.

L: Is your wife a nagger?

P: No, she white.

L: Why do you want this divorce?

P: She going to kill me.

L: What makes you think that?

P: I got proof.

L: What kind of proof?

* * * * * * * * * * * *

P: She going to poison me.

She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom.

I can read, and it say: “Polish Remover”.

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