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Funny Best Court Joke Of The Day: Good Farmer V/S Lawyer

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Joke Title: I Am Just Fine

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court.

In court the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe.

“Didn’t you say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine,‘” asked the lawyer.

Farmer Joe responded,

“Well. I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite donkey Bessie into the…”

“I didn’t ask for any details,” the lawyer interrupted,

“just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine!’“.

Farmer Joe said,

“Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road…”

The lawyer interrupted again and said,

“Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Police officer on the scene that he was fine.

Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client.

I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.”

By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe’s answer and said to the lawyer,

“I’d like to hear what he has to say.”

Joe thanked the Judge and proceeded,

“Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie into the trailer and was driving her down the motorway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side.

I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other.

I was hurting real bad and didn’t want to move.

However, I could hear ol’ Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.

Shortly after the accident a Policeman came on the scene.

He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her.

After he looked at her he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.

Then the officer came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me.”

He said,…

* * * * * * * * * * *

“Your donkey was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?”

I said: ………………………….

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A ship at sea was approached by 2 pirate ships…

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A ship at sea was approached by 2 pirate ships…

The captain of the ship tells his men to get ready for battle, and orders his first mate to go get his red shirt.

After they defeated the pirate ship the first mate approaches the captain and asks “captain why did you want me to get you a red shirt?is it a lucky shirt?”

The captain answered “I wanted the red shirt so that if I was injured during battle you and the rest of the crew wouldn’t see me bleeding and become afraid.”

The men were amazed by his answer

A few days later they were approached by 5 pirate ships. The first mate running to his captain asked “should I get you your red shirt?”

The captain calmly answered,” No, I will need my brown pants.”

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Best Friends Funny Bad Joke: It Could Have Been Worse

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Three friends had a very good friend named Joe and he was, naturally, an eternal optimist.

At every bad situation he would always say

“It could have been worse.”

His friends hated that quality about him,

So they came up with a story so horrible that not even Joe could come up with a bright side.

So the next day, only two of his friends showed up for a golf date.

Joe asked, “Where’s Gary?”

And one of his friends said,

“Didn’t you hear? Yesterday, Gary found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both, and then turned the gun on himself.”

Joe says, “Well it could have been worse.”

Both his friends said,

“How in hell could it be worse? Your best friend just killed himself!”

Joe says,

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“If it had happened two days ago, I’d be dead now!”

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Funny Comedy Joke Of The Day: Polish Divorce V/S Lawyer

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A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.

Although his English was far from perfect,…

They got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.

The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances,…

And asked him the following questions:

L: Have you any grounds?

P: Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.

L: No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?

P: It made of concrete.

L: I don’t think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?

P: No, we have carport, and not need one.

L: I mean. What are your relations like?

P: All my relations still in Poland.

L: Is there any infidelity in your marriage?

P: We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

L: Does your wife beat you up?

P: No, I always up before her.

L: Is your wife a nagger?

P: No, she white.

L: Why do you want this divorce?

P: She going to kill me.

L: What makes you think that?

P: I got proof.

L: What kind of proof?

* * * * * * * * * * * *

P: She going to poison me.

She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom.

I can read, and it say: “Polish Remover”.

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