Connect with us

Jokes

Funny Best Housewife Joke Of The Day: Bad Day & Phone Call

Published

on

The worried housewife sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice in her ear.

“How are you, darling?” it said. “What kind of a day are you having?”

“Oh, mother,” said the housewife, breaking into bitter tears,

“I’ve had such a bad day. The baby won’t eat and the washing machine broke down.

I haven’t had a chance to go shopping, and besides, I’ve just sprained my ankle and I have to hobble around.

On top of that, the house is a mess and I’m supposed to have two couples over for dinner tonight.”

The mother was shocked and was at once all sympathy.

“Oh, darling,” she said,

“sit down, relax, and close your eyes. I’ll be over in half an hour.

I’ll do your shopping, clean up the house, and cook your dinner for you.

I’ll feed the baby and I’ll call a repairman I know who’ll be at your house to fix the washing machine promptly.

Now stop crying. I’ll do everything.

In fact, I’ll even call George at the office and tell him he ought to come home and help out for once.”

“George?” said the housewife. “Who’s George?”

“Why, George! Your husband!… Isn’t this 223-1374?”

“No, this is 232-1374.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I guess I have the wrong number.”

There was a short pause and the housewife said,

* * * * * * * *

“Does this mean you’re not coming over?”

Jokes

Little Johnny v/s Sunday School Teacher Joke: Making Bad Faces

Published

on

Finding one of her student Little Johnny making faces at others on the playground,..

Ms. Smith stopped to gently scold the child.

Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said,

“Johnny, when I was a child,

I was told if that I made ugly faces,

it would freeze and I would stay like that.”

Johnny looked up and replied,

* * * * * * * * * *

“Well, Ms. Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned.”

Continue Reading

Jokes

Funny Husband Wife Short Dirty Joke: Bad Horse Riding

Published

on

A minister gave a talk to the community center on sex.

When he got home, he couldn’t tell his wife that he had spoken on sex,

So he said he had discussed “Horseback Riding” with the members.

A few days later, she ran into some men at the shopping center,…

and they complimented her on the speech her husband had made.

She said:,

* * * * * * * * *

“Yes, I heard. I was surprised about the subject matter,… as he’s only tried it twice.

The first time he got so sore he could hardly walk, and the second time he fell off.”

Continue Reading

Jokes

Best Little Johnny Dirty Joke Of The Day: Valentine’s Day Card

Published

on

Valentine’s Day was quickly approaching and Little Johnny was anxious to receive and give Valentine cards during his classroom party,..

Mainly because there were two girls he was particularly very fond of.

The rest of his class received the usual “store bought” cheap Valentines that read cutesy “Be Mines”,..

But he took special care and time in hand-making two special cards for these two sweethearts in his life.

The first read:

Roses are Red, Pickles are Green,

I love your legs and what’s in between.

I like your style, I like your class,

But most of all I love your ass.

And to the other girl he wrote:

* * *

Roses are Stupid, Violets are Silly!

Bend over Babe ’cause here comes my Willy!

Continue Reading

Trending