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Funny Best Religious Joke Of The Day: Priest V/S Taxi Driver

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A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven.

St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them.

“Come with me”, said St. Peter to the taxi driver.

The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St. Peter to a mansion.

It had anything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an Olympic size pool.

“Wow, thank you.”, said the taxi driver.

Next, St. Peter led the priest to a rugged old shack with a bunk bed and a little old television set.

“Wait, I think you are a little mixed up.”, said the priest.

“Shouldn’t I be the one who gets the mansion? After all I was a priest, went to church every day, and preached God’s word.”

* * * * * * * * *

“Yes, that’s true. But during your sermons people slept. When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed!”

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Really Funny Clean Old Age Joke Of The Day: Shameless Visitor

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The Grandmother of a just got married grandson phoned that he was coming to present his beautiful lovely wife to grandma.

The delighted Grandma started giving instructions how to come to their high rise colony retirement Apartment.

She started blabbering,

“When you come to the front door of the apartment building inside vestibule,

My son there is a push button, push it with your Elbow, I will hear and open the door from my apartment for you.

You will hear the pi……pi buzz.

You push the door with your Elbow and open. Enter and walk to the Elevator.

Push the UP button with your Elbow and elevator opens. Enter.

Push the #4 button with your Elbow carefully and elevator comes to fourth floor.

Walk to the room number 420 and push the button with your Elbow. I will open the door for you.”

The polite grand son said,

“Dear Grand Ma, my wife and I can handle all these, we have been born here. Don’t worry.

But explain one thing, why do you want me to push all the buttons with my Elbow.”

* * * * * * * * * *

The Grandma yelled, “What? Shameless, are you coming without gifts in your hands for Grandma?”

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Funny Clean Smart Father Joke Of The Day: Think Positive

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This is Awesome, One smart father goes to his son.

Father: “I want you to marry a girl of my choice”

Son: “I will choose my own bride!”

Father: “But the girl is Bill Gates’s daughter.”

Son: “Well, in that case…ok”

Next – Father approaches Bill Gates.

Father: “I have a husband for your daughter.”

Bill Gates: “But my daughter is too young to marry!”

Father: “But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank.”

Bill Gates: “Ah, in that case…ok”

Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.

Father: “I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president.”

President: “But I already have more vice – presidents than I need!”

Father: “But this young man is Bill Gates’s son-in-law.”

President: “Ah, in that case… ok”

This is how business is done!!

Moral: Even If you have nothing, You can get Anything. But your attitude should be positive. Think Positive.

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So I was just starting to play Harry Potter – Wizards Unite…

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So I was just starting to play Harry Potter – Wizards Unite…

…and was walking down the street. I noticed a young lady at the bus stop was also playing, which sparked a small conversation. She was very cute, maybe in her early 20s. She was telling me all about the professions you can pick from because she just hit level six. I was only level four so it was exciting to hear about a part of the game I have yet to unlock. But suddenly the conversation took a turn, and things started getting weird…

She goes on to explain in great detail as to why she does not have her wallet and is unable to pay for the bus ticket. Evidently she had an unstable living situation and had to flee her home with just the clothing on her back and her phone. Her story seemed legit, so I asked her how much the ticket was.

“It’ll be about $3.50.” she replies.

It was about at that time I realized that she was not at all the young lady I thought she was, but rather an eighty foot tall crustacean from the pedadoic era.

“God damnit Loch Ness monster, you ain’t getting my tree fiddy today” I proclaim as I storm off.

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