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Funny Blonde Dirty Joke Of The Day: Naughty Frog Rehearsal

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A blonde, June, goes to her local pet store in search of an ‘exotic’ pet.

As she looks about the store, she notices a box FULL of frogs.

The sign says: ‘SEX FROGS’ Only $20 each! Comes with ‘complete’ instructions.

The girl, June, excitedly looks around to see if anybody’s watching her.

She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, “I’ll TAKE one!”

As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her, “Just follow the instructions!”

The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home.

As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the instructions and reads them very carefully.

She does EXACTLY what is specified:

Take a shower.

Splash on some nice perfume.

Slip into a very sexy nightie.

Crawl into bed and place the frog down in between your legs, and allow the frog to do what he has been trained to do.

She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and to her surprise… NOTHING happens!

The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point.

She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says,

“If you have any problems or questions. please call the pet store.”

So, she calls the pet store.

The man says, “I’ll be right over.”

Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell.

The blonde welcomes him in and says, “See, I’ve done everything according to the instructions. The damn frog just SITS there!”

The man… looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares ‘directly into its eyes’ and STERNLY says:

* * * * * *

“LISTEN TO ME !! I’m only going to show you how to do this ONLY ONE .. MORE … TIME !!!”.

Jokes

Little Johnny v/s Sunday School Teacher Joke: Making Bad Faces

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Finding one of her student Little Johnny making faces at others on the playground,..

Ms. Smith stopped to gently scold the child.

Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said,

“Johnny, when I was a child,

I was told if that I made ugly faces,

it would freeze and I would stay like that.”

Johnny looked up and replied,

* * * * * * * * * *

“Well, Ms. Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned.”

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Funny Husband Wife Short Dirty Joke: Bad Horse Riding

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A minister gave a talk to the community center on sex.

When he got home, he couldn’t tell his wife that he had spoken on sex,

So he said he had discussed “Horseback Riding” with the members.

A few days later, she ran into some men at the shopping center,…

and they complimented her on the speech her husband had made.

She said:,

* * * * * * * * *

“Yes, I heard. I was surprised about the subject matter,… as he’s only tried it twice.

The first time he got so sore he could hardly walk, and the second time he fell off.”

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Best Little Johnny Dirty Joke Of The Day: Valentine’s Day Card

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Valentine’s Day was quickly approaching and Little Johnny was anxious to receive and give Valentine cards during his classroom party,..

Mainly because there were two girls he was particularly very fond of.

The rest of his class received the usual “store bought” cheap Valentines that read cutesy “Be Mines”,..

But he took special care and time in hand-making two special cards for these two sweethearts in his life.

The first read:

Roses are Red, Pickles are Green,

I love your legs and what’s in between.

I like your style, I like your class,

But most of all I love your ass.

And to the other girl he wrote:

* * *

Roses are Stupid, Violets are Silly!

Bend over Babe ’cause here comes my Willy!

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