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Funny Corny Joke Of The Day: Clever Guest & Super Computer

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The Super Computer stood at the end of the Computer Company’s production line.

At which point the guided tour eventually arrived.

The salesman stepped forward to give his prepared demo.

“This”, he said,…

…”is the Super Computer. It will give an intelligent answer to any question you may care to ask it”.

At which a Clever Guest stepped forward – there is always one – and spoke into the Computer’s microphone.

“Where is my father?” he asked.

There was a whirring of wheels and flashing of lights that the manufacturers always use to impress lay people, and then a little card popped out.

On it were printed the words: Fishing at Bighorn River, Montana.

Clever Guest laughed.

“Actually”, he said, “My father is dead!”

It had been a tricky question!

The salesman, carefully chosen for his ability to think fast on his feet,

immediately replied that he was sorry the answer was unsatisfactory,

but as computers were precise, perhaps he might care to rephrase his question and try again?

Clever Guest thought, went to the Computer and this time said,

“Where is my mother’s husband?”

Again there was a whirring of wheels and a flashing of lights.

And again a little card popped out. Printed on it were the words,

* * * * * * * * *

“Dead. But your father is still fishing at Bighorn River, Montana.”

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Clean Office Joke: Man Goes Into A Pet Shop To Buy A Monkey

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A man goes into a pet shop to buy a monkey.

The shop owner points to 3 identical looking monkeys on a perch and says the monkey on the left cost $ 500.00

Why does that one cost so much? asked the shopper.

The owner says well the monkey knows how to use a computer.

The man then asks about the next monkey and was told that this one cost $1000.00,…

because it can do everything the other monkey can do plus he knows the Unix operating system.

Naturally the increasingly startled man asks about the third monkey to be told that it costs $ 2000.00

Needles to say this begs the question.

What can it do?

To which the owner replies:

* * * * * * * * * * * *

“To be honest I have never seen him do a thing but the other two call him BOSS.”

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Really Funny Clean Old Age Joke Of The Day: Shameless Visitor

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The Grandmother of a just got married grandson phoned that he was coming to present his beautiful lovely wife to grandma.

The delighted Grandma started giving instructions how to come to their high rise colony retirement Apartment.

She started blabbering,

“When you come to the front door of the apartment building inside vestibule,

My son there is a push button, push it with your Elbow, I will hear and open the door from my apartment for you.

You will hear the pi……pi buzz.

You push the door with your Elbow and open. Enter and walk to the Elevator.

Push the UP button with your Elbow and elevator opens. Enter.

Push the #4 button with your Elbow carefully and elevator comes to fourth floor.

Walk to the room number 420 and push the button with your Elbow. I will open the door for you.”

The polite grand son said,

“Dear Grand Ma, my wife and I can handle all these, we have been born here. Don’t worry.

But explain one thing, why do you want me to push all the buttons with my Elbow.”

* * * * * * * * * *

The Grandma yelled, “What? Shameless, are you coming without gifts in your hands for Grandma?”

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Funny Clean Smart Father Joke Of The Day: Think Positive

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This is Awesome, One smart father goes to his son.

Father: “I want you to marry a girl of my choice”

Son: “I will choose my own bride!”

Father: “But the girl is Bill Gates’s daughter.”

Son: “Well, in that case…ok”

Next – Father approaches Bill Gates.

Father: “I have a husband for your daughter.”

Bill Gates: “But my daughter is too young to marry!”

Father: “But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank.”

Bill Gates: “Ah, in that case…ok”

Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.

Father: “I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president.”

President: “But I already have more vice – presidents than I need!”

Father: “But this young man is Bill Gates’s son-in-law.”

President: “Ah, in that case… ok”

This is how business is done!!

Moral: Even If you have nothing, You can get Anything. But your attitude should be positive. Think Positive.

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