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Funny Dad Joke: One Day A 12-Year-Old Boy Was Walking

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One day a 12-year-old boy was walking down the street,…

When a car pulled up beside him and the driver lowered a window.

“I’ll give you a large bag of M&Ms if you get in the car,”…

Said the driver.

“No way! Get lost!”

Replied the boy.

“How about a bag of M&Ms and 10 dollars?”

The driver asked.

“I said no way,”

Replied the boy again.

“What about a bag of M&Ms and 50 dollars?”

asked the driver.

“No, I’m not getting in the car,”

Answered the boy.

“Okay, I’ll give you a bag of M&Ms and 100 dollars,”

The driver offered.

“No!” replied the boy firmly.

“What will it take to get you in the car?”

Asked the driver.

The boy replied:,…

* * * * * * * * * * *

“Listen, Dad: You bought the Volvo,… You live with it!”

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Simple Clean Comedy Joke Of The Day: The Plumber On Run

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A man knocked the door of house.

The lady opened the door.

The man said, “I am the here on the run, to fix your leaky pipe.”

The Lady said, “We don’t have any leaky pipe here.”

The plumber on run, says,

“My note reads, your house called for a Plumbing Emergency, address looks exact, Aren’t you Mrs. Smith?”

The Lady says, “No, Smiths moved away about a year back from this house. We are Johnson.”

The plumber grimaces,

* * * * * * * *

“What kind of people are they, Calls for an Emergency repair and then move away.”

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A pregnant lady.

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A pregnant lady.

A lady who was pregnant with triplets was walking down the street one night and got robbed. She refused to give the robber any money so she was shot 3 times in the stomach. Miraculously she and all three children survived. She eventually have birth to two females and one male.

14 years later, her first daughter came up to the lady crying and freaking out. “Mom mom I was peeing and a bullet game out.” The lady calmed her daughter down and explain to her what happened.

A week later her second daughter came up to the lady freaking out. ” mom mom I had my first period and a bullet came out” she calmed her daughter down and explain what happened.

A week after and her son come up to her crying and freaking out. The lady says. “Let me guess… You were peeing and a bullet came out” “No” said the boy ” I was playing with myself and I shot the dog”

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Funny Politician Joke Of The Day: Cannibal Restaurant Menu

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A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal.

Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu…

Tourist: $5 Broiled Missionary: $10.00 Fried Explorer: $15.00 Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican: $100.00

The cannibal called the waiter over and asked,

“Why such a price difference for the Politician?”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The cook replied, “Have you ever tried to clean one? They’re so full of shit, it takes all morning.”

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