Jokes
Funny Dark Humor Joke Of The Day: Kind Lawyer & Poor Family
One afternoon a Lawyer was driving home,…
when he saw a man eating grass by the side of the road
“Why are doing that?” the lawyer asked.
“I don’t have any money for food” the man replied.
“Oh, then you must come with me”.
“But, Sir, I have a wife and five children.”
“They are all welcome”.
So the family got in the lawyer’s car and he sped off towards his mansion.
“You’re so kind to help so many people” the wife gushed during the journey.
“It’s fine”. said the lawyer.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“I haven’t cut my grass in weeks”.
There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box.
The Female pencil got pregnant!!
Which Male pencil is responsible?
* * * * * *
ANSWER: THE ONE WITHOUT THE RUBBER.
Woman in bed with husband’s best friend, phone rings!
“YES”.. “OK, BYE”.
She turns to her lover and says,
* * * * * * *
“THAT’S MY HUBBY, SAYS HE’S NOW GOLFING WITH YOU.”
Three Roosters: normal, retarded and a gay.
Normal : cock-a-doodle-dooo !!!
Retarded : doodle-cock-a-dooo !!!
Gay : any-cock-will dooo !!!
Three Guys were introduced to a girl.
“Hi,…. I’m Peter, not a SAINT.”
“I’m Paul not a POPE.”
“I’m John not a BAPTIST…”
The girl replied..
* * * * * *
“Hi.. I’m Mary, not a VIRGIN.”
Girlfriends are like appetizers.
Taste good at any time.
Mistresses are Tomyams.
Hot and spicy. Eaten frequently.
WIVES are Maggie.
Eaten when there’s nothing to eat.!!!
Income Tax office asked a Prostitute why she puts her occupation as CHICKEN FARMER.
She replied:
* * * * * * * *
“I RAISED 5,000 COCKS LAST YEAR.!!”
Yesterday’s News:-
A nun jogging at Jogger’s Park was raped by 4 guys.
Today’s News:-
* * * * * *
Nearly 100 nuns found jogging at the park.
Predicting the weather
A local news station is is starting its broadcast for the daily weather and they start talking about rain for the day. The meteorologist starts in “We are looking at about a 60% chance of rain for the day mostly cloudy.” In the back of the station someone chirps up “Hey it’s raining right now!” The meteorologist looks back into the camera and says “Looks like there has been a slight change in the forecast, we are now looking at a 90% chance of rain”
Joke Title: Doll
A man comes home with his little daughter,
whom he has just taken to work.
The little girl asks,
“I saw you in your office with your secretary.
Why do you call her a doll?”
Feeling his wife’s gaze upon him, the man explains,
“Well, honey, my secretary is a very hard-working girl.
She types like you wouldn’t believe,
she knows the computer system and is very efficient.”
“Oh,” says the little girl,
* * * * * * *
“I thought it was because she closed her eyes when you lay her down on the couch.”
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