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Funny Desi Santa Banta Joke: Mom’s Letter In English



Dear Banta,

Vahe Guru !

I am in a well here and hoping you are in the same well there.

I’m writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast.

We don’t live where we did when you left home.

Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles.

I wont be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not have to change their address.

Hopefully by next week we will be able to bring our earlier address plate here,

so that our address will remain same too.

This place is really nice.

It even has a washing machine, situated right above the commode.

I’m not sure it works. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven’t seen them since.

The weather here isn’t too bad.

It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.

The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.

Your father has another job.

He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery.

By the way I took Bahu to our club’s poolside.

The manager is really badmash.

He told her that two-piece swimming suit is not allowed in this club.

We were confused as to which piece should we remove?

Your sister had a baby this morning.

I haven’t found out whether it is a girl or a boy, so I don’t know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your uncle, Jetinder fell in a nearby well.

Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned.

We cremated him and he burned for three days.

Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more.

He died trying to fulfill his father’s last wishes.

His father had wished to be buried at sea after he died.

And your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his father.

There isn’t much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.

P.S: Beta, I was going to send you some money but by the time I realized, I had already sealed off this letter.


Nelson Mandela is sitting at home one day when there’s a knock at the door,



Nelson Mandela is sitting at home one day when there’s a knock at the door,

Mandela opens the door and there’s a Japanese man standing there, Mandela asks him what he wants and the Japanese guy says he has the cars for him. Mandela says he didn’t order any cars but the Japanese guy is insistent and points to the fully loaded car transporter outside. Mandela again, argues that he didn’t order any cars, the two continue arguing for some time until eventually the Japanese guy storms off to his truck to get the paperwork. He comes back waving the papers in Nelsons face, see he says “you are Nissan main dealer!”.

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A Londoner meets a stereotypical American redneck



A Londoner meets a stereotypical American redneck

The redneck tells him: “Why don’t y’all like guns? They’re completely safe! See, I have mine in my safe next to my bed, I know the passcode so well I can take my gun and kill any intruder in half a second!”

The Londoner replies: “Really? Is it truly that safe?”

The redneck replies: “Sure! I’ll give you as much time as you want to crack the safe! If you do it, I’ll give you some of that tea stuff y’all seem to like!”

The Londoner, excited by this offer agrees, after a few seconds the Londoner already cracked the safe.

The redneck, comes out in anger and yells: “How the hell did you find the passcode so quickly? Are you a bank robber?”

“No.” Replies the Londoner: “I’m a historian, and I just guessed correctly that your passcode, is 1776.”

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A guy is eating breakfast with his wife….



A guy is eating breakfast with his wife….

When he hears a knock at the door, he gets up and opens the door and sees two people

“You need to be saved!” the first person at the door says

“Get outta here with that bullsh*t” the guy says

“But sir, if you don’t get saved, you’ll burn!” the second person says

“I don’t give a rats ass, now scram!”

The guy slams the door, goes back to the table and opens his newspaper

“Who was at the door, dear?” His wife asked

“A couple of fireman”

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