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Funny Doctor Joke: Nurse v/s Patient’s Simple Operation

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A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation.

A nurse stopped him and asked,

“What’s the matter?”

He said, “I heard the nurse say,

‘It’s a very simple operation, don’t worry,

I’m sure it will be all right.’”

Nurse said:

“She was just trying to comfort you,

what’s so frightening about that?”

Man Said:

* * * * * * * * * *

“She wasn’t talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!”

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Best Women Joke: Wife Passes A Test At The Pearly Gates

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A woman found herself standing at the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter greeted her and said,…

“These are the Gates to Heaven, my dear. But you must do one more thing before you can enter.”

The woman was very excited, and asked of St. Peter what she must do.

“Spell a word,” St. Peter replied.

“What word?” she asked.

“Any word,” answered St. Peter. “It’s your choice.”

The woman promptly replied,…

“Then the word I will spell is love. L-O-V-E.”

St. Peter welcomed her in, and asked her if she would mind taking his place at the gates for a few minutes while he took a break.

So the woman is left sitting in St. Peter’s chair when a man approaches the gates,…

and she realizes it is her husband.

“What happened?” she cried,

“Why are you here?”

Her husband stared at her for a moment, then said,…

“I was so upset when I left your funeral, I got in an accident. Did I really make it to Heaven?”

“Not yet,” she replied,

“You must spell a word first.”

“What word?” he asked.

The woman responded,

* * * * * * * * * * * *

“Czechoslovakia.”

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Joke Of The Day: While Teaching A Class Of Good Manners

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A teacher trying to teach good manners asked her students the following question:

“Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady,

how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?”

Michael said:

“Just a minute I have to go pee.”

The teacher responded by saying:

“That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?”

Sherman said:

“I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

“That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.

And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?”

Johnny said: “I would say:,…”

* * * * * * * * * * *

“Darling, may I please be excused for a moment?

I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine,

Who I hope to introduce you to after dinner.”

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Funny Comedy Joke: The Most Unusual Funeral Procession

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A man was leaving a convenience store with his espresso,…

When he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.

A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.

Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian man walking a dog on a leash.

Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking in single file.

The man couldn’t stand the curiosity.

He respectfully approached the Italian man walking the dog and said:

“I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I’ve never seen an funeral like this. Whose funeral, is it?”

“My wife’s.”

“What happened to her?”

“She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her.”

He inquired further,

“But who is in the second hearse?”

“My mother-in-law. She came to help my wife and the dog turned on her and killed her also.”

It was a very poignant and touching moment of the man and Italian man.

Silence passed between the two men.

The man then asked:

“Can I borrow the dog?”

The Italian man replied,

* * * * * * * * * * *

“Get in the line.”

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