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Funny Joke: A Guy Asking For Some Polish Sausage

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A man goes into a store and asks the clerk for some “Polish Sausage.”

The clerk looked at him and asked,…

“Are you Polish?”

The guy, clearly offended, Says:,…

“Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something.

If I asked you for Italian Sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?

Or, if I asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?

Or if I asked you for a Kosher Hot Dog, would you ask me if I was Jewish?

Or, if I asked you for a Taco, would you ask me if I was Mexican?

Would ya, huh? Would ya?”

The clerk says, “Well no.”

“And if I asked you for some Irish Whiskey, would you ask me if I was Irish?

What about Canadian Bacon, would you ask me if I was Canadian?”

“Well, I probably wouldn’t.”

With self-indignation, the guy says:,…

“Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I’m Polish just because I asked for Polish Sausage?”

The clerk replies,

* * * * * * * * * * * *

“Because you’re at a Home Depot, sir.”

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After intense partying with their friends, brother and sister got back home late at night…

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After intense partying with their friends, brother and sister got back home late at night…

Dad yells, ‘It’s two days to the exams and where on earth have you both been? Why weren’t you answering your phones?’

Daughter: I have been studying for the exams all day with my friends and had my cellphone on silent to beat the distractions. I was so exhausted that I slept on the couch and it was late when I woke up.

Dad instantly calls her friend and asks if she has seen his daughter that day. She is drunk and high and unwittingly tells the truth. The daughter is grounded.

Now, it’s the son’s turn. He repeats the same story.

Dad immediately calls his son’s friend and asks if he has seen his son that day. The friend is drunk and high but realizes what’s happening and says ‘Yep, he has been studying for the exams with us all day. Poor chap, he even slept on the couch. He was quite exhausted, do you still want me to wake him up now?’

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The Bulgarian Train Conductor

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The Bulgarian Train Conductor

Most kids want to become a firefighter or astronaut when they’re older. This man, however, really wanted to become a train conductor. Unfortunately, he gets the job and he loves it. But one particular day, he’s enjoying his job a little too much. He’s driving too fast and accidentally derails the train, killing a passenger!

Bulgaria takes him to court and they find him guilty, sentencing him to death by electrical chair. They ask for his last words and his last meal. He didn’t have much to say, but he did ask for one banana. The executioner, surprised, gave him his banana and sat him down. He pulls the lever, sparks fly and smoke fills the room, and as it clears, he’s still sitting there..

Now, at the time Bulgaria had this superstition: if someone lives their death sentence, it has to be a sign from God. He gets a second chance and he’s back to driving trains.

He’s happy as can be, celebrating his life and things going back to normal. He had a few drinks on the job, details and kills 2 passengers this time. He goes back to court, same deal, found guilty and sentenced to the electric chair. They ask for his last words, and once again he doesn’t have anything to say, but asks for 2 bananas this time. Now feeling a bit suspicious, they give him his bananas anyway. Flip the lever, smoke fills the room and sparks fly.. and to their amazement, he’s still sitting there.

Third times the charm right? Well, I guess this guy doesn’t learn his lessons. As you might’ve guessed, he killed 3 this time. The court is fed up with the guy, the people are outraged. “No more of this, screw the court system, screw your last words and your last bananas.” The executioner tells him while cranking up the voltage. He flips the switch, and after the smoke settles, he’s STILL sitting there.

They’re dumbfounded, the nation is in shock (hehe). When they ask him how he’s doing it he replies, “well, the bananas didn’t have anything to do with it… I’m just a bad conductor!”

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A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy

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A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy

The fairy says “I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else’s job for a day.”

The professor says “I’ll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?” so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the kids’ screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up.

The C.E.O says “I’ll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This’ll be a breeze” so he is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up.

The janitor says “I’ll be an artist” so he is transported to an art facility. He glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, then sells it for a billion dollars. The fairy asks the janitor how he was so clever.

The janitor says “I got a masters degree in art.”

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