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Funny Joke: Magician & Jealous Parrot On Cruise Ship

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There was this magician who had a job on a cruise liner, entertaining the passengers with a nightly show.

He was very successful in his job and there was always a full house at all his performances.

Life was sweet.

The money was rolling in, he had one of the best cabins, ate the best food, mixed with the best people.

All was fine until one day the captain bought a parrot.

The highlight of the parrot’s day was going along to see the magician in action in the evening.

During the magician’s performances, the parrot would watch him very carefully during each trick,…

and immediately after the magician had completed the trick the parrot would call out in a loud squark,

“It’s up his sleeve, it’s up his sleeve,” or,

“It’s down his trousers, it’s down his trousers,”

each time ruining the magician’s trick.

Well life was no longer as sweet and the magician started to struggle to satisfy the passengers.

The magician naturally got very tired of the parrot and longed to kill it.

Then one night in the middle of the magician’s performances, the ship hit an iceberg and sank.

Everyone was killed except for the magician and the parrot.

The magician managed to swim to a piece of wreckage, climbed aboard and collapsed.

The parrot flew towards the magician and perched on the edge of the raft and stared at the magician.

For a whole day the magician was unconscious, and all this time the parrot did not take his eyes off him.

Eventually the magician started to stir, and looked up not really knowing where he was or what had happened.

He eventually found enough energy to sit up.

He then noticed the parrot, who had not stopped focusing his eyes on him all this time.

“Alright I give up …” chirped the parrot,

“Now tell me,…”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“… what have you done with the ship?”

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The boy with no name.

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The boy with no name.

There once was a boy with no name. He went to school one day and his teacher asked for his name to witch the boy sadly replied, “I don’t know ma’am.” The boy went home crying because he didn’t know his own name, so he went to ask his mother.

His mother had a pair of really big boobs that touched the cutting board she was using. Suddenly the boy crept up on her and cried loudly, “MOMMY WHAT’S MY NAME!?” The boy’s mother was startled and accidentally chopped off both of her nipples. She screamed, “MY TITTIES!!!” As she bled all over the place. The boy was satisfied and said, “thanks Mommy!” As he skipped away.

The next day at school the boy proudly announced that his name was My Titties. On that day no one played with the boy on recess making his teacher feel bad for him. So she announced, “if no one plays with my titties this instant I’ll force you inside and make sure your punished!”

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Simple Clean Comedy Joke: American Couple V/S African Boy

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Joke Title: No Untruth

One American Couple went to Africa for their Honeymoon.

While walking on the countryside they saw one beautiful lake.

There was one little boy standing and enjoying the atmosphere on the bank.

They asked him whether there are any sharks in the lake.

He said: “No”.

They jumped in the lake but after few minutes they got suspicious.

They came back and asked the boy,…

“Are you sure there are no sharks ?”

He replied:

* * * * * * *

“Believe me, Sharks don’t come where there are Crocodiles”.

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Funny Bad Nurse Joke Of The Day: Size – Does It Matter?

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A young man was so paranoid about the size of his penis that he could never work up the courage to have sex.

Then one day he fell in love with a nurse.

One fine evening, they went back to her place.

She put on some soft music and led him into the bedroom.

Totally mortified, he told her of his problem.

“Don’t worry,” She said.

“I’m a nurse. I won’t laugh.”

Blushing the man drops his trousers.

“It’s OK,” she said.

“I’ve seen lots smaller than that.”

“Really?” the relieved man asked.

She nodded. “Yes,” she chuckled,

* * * * * *

“I used to work in the maternity unit.”

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