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Funny Older Couple Joke: Romantic Love Night After 50 Years

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An older couple was lying in bed one night.

The husband was falling a sleep, but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk.

She said, “You use to hold my hand when we were courting.”

Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second, and tried to get back to sleep.

A few moments later she said, “Then you used to kiss me.”

Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said.

“Then you use to bite my neck.”

Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.

“Where are you going ?” she asked.

* * * * * * * *

“To get my teeth!” He answered.

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Funny Clean Blonde Joke Of The Day: Dumb & Stupid Together

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Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out.

They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out.

After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others

“I think the best way to call for help is by yelling together.”

The others agree with the first, so they all inhale deeply and begin to yell loudly,…

* * * * * * * *

“Together, together, together.”

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Husband Wife Short Joke Of The Day: How To Enjoy Sunday?

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Husband [:D] Darling, my sweet heart I will be enjoying this Sunday.

Wife: How?

Husband: I bought three tickets for the movie.

Wife: thats great, but we are two, why you bought three tickets ???

* * * * * * *

Husband: Darling one for you, one for your mother and one for your brother. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Clean Office Joke: Man Goes Into A Pet Shop To Buy A Monkey

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A man goes into a pet shop to buy a monkey.

The shop owner points to 3 identical looking monkeys on a perch and says the monkey on the left cost $ 500.00

Why does that one cost so much? asked the shopper.

The owner says well the monkey knows how to use a computer.

The man then asks about the next monkey and was told that this one cost $1000.00,…

because it can do everything the other monkey can do plus he knows the Unix operating system.

Naturally the increasingly startled man asks about the third monkey to be told that it costs $ 2000.00

Needles to say this begs the question.

What can it do?

To which the owner replies:

* * * * * * * * * * * *

“To be honest I have never seen him do a thing but the other two call him BOSS.”

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