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Funny Older Couple Joke: Romantic Love Night After 50 Years

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An older couple was lying in bed one night.

The husband was falling a sleep, but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk.

She said, “You use to hold my hand when we were courting.”

Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second, and tried to get back to sleep.

A few moments later she said, “Then you used to kiss me.”

Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said.

“Then you use to bite my neck.”

Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.

“Where are you going ?” she asked.

* * * * * * * *

“To get my teeth!” He answered.

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Simple Clean Comedy Joke Of The Day: The Plumber On Run

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A man knocked the door of house.

The lady opened the door.

The man said, “I am the here on the run, to fix your leaky pipe.”

The Lady said, “We don’t have any leaky pipe here.”

The plumber on run, says,

“My note reads, your house called for a Plumbing Emergency, address looks exact, Aren’t you Mrs. Smith?”

The Lady says, “No, Smiths moved away about a year back from this house. We are Johnson.”

The plumber grimaces,

* * * * * * * *

“What kind of people are they, Calls for an Emergency repair and then move away.”

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A pregnant lady.

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A pregnant lady.

A lady who was pregnant with triplets was walking down the street one night and got robbed. She refused to give the robber any money so she was shot 3 times in the stomach. Miraculously she and all three children survived. She eventually have birth to two females and one male.

14 years later, her first daughter came up to the lady crying and freaking out. “Mom mom I was peeing and a bullet game out.” The lady calmed her daughter down and explain to her what happened.

A week later her second daughter came up to the lady freaking out. ” mom mom I had my first period and a bullet came out” she calmed her daughter down and explain what happened.

A week after and her son come up to her crying and freaking out. The lady says. “Let me guess… You were peeing and a bullet came out” “No” said the boy ” I was playing with myself and I shot the dog”

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Funny Politician Joke Of The Day: Cannibal Restaurant Menu

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A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal.

Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu…

Tourist: $5 Broiled Missionary: $10.00 Fried Explorer: $15.00 Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican: $100.00

The cannibal called the waiter over and asked,

“Why such a price difference for the Politician?”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The cook replied, “Have you ever tried to clean one? They’re so full of shit, it takes all morning.”

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