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Funny Pharmacist Joke Of The Day: The Religious Boyfriend

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A young man strides into a chemist and asks for a packet of condoms.

The pharmacist replies: “They come in packs of three, nine, or 12. Which would you like?”

“Well,” the young man begins confidently,

“I’ve been seeing this girl and she’s really hot.

I want the condoms because I think tonight’s the night.

We’re having dinner with her parents, and then we’re going away for the weekend.

Once she has seen what I’m like in the sack, I reckon she’ll want me all the time.

So you’d better give me a packet of 12.”

The pharmacist hands over the condoms, and the young man leaves, all puffed up and proud.

Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents.

Before they begin, however, he suddenly asks if they can say grace.

The family agrees, but is taken aback when the young man continues praying silently for several minutes,…

Once the grace has finished.

Eventually, his girlfriend leans over and whispers,

“You never told me you were so religious.”

The young man leans back and whispers,

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“You never told me that your father is a pharmacist.”

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Little Johnny v/s Sunday School Teacher Joke: Making Bad Faces

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Finding one of her student Little Johnny making faces at others on the playground,..

Ms. Smith stopped to gently scold the child.

Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said,

“Johnny, when I was a child,

I was told if that I made ugly faces,

it would freeze and I would stay like that.”

Johnny looked up and replied,

* * * * * * * * * *

“Well, Ms. Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned.”

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Funny Husband Wife Short Dirty Joke: Bad Horse Riding

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A minister gave a talk to the community center on sex.

When he got home, he couldn’t tell his wife that he had spoken on sex,

So he said he had discussed “Horseback Riding” with the members.

A few days later, she ran into some men at the shopping center,…

and they complimented her on the speech her husband had made.

She said:,

* * * * * * * * *

“Yes, I heard. I was surprised about the subject matter,… as he’s only tried it twice.

The first time he got so sore he could hardly walk, and the second time he fell off.”

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Best Little Johnny Dirty Joke Of The Day: Valentine’s Day Card

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Valentine’s Day was quickly approaching and Little Johnny was anxious to receive and give Valentine cards during his classroom party,..

Mainly because there were two girls he was particularly very fond of.

The rest of his class received the usual “store bought” cheap Valentines that read cutesy “Be Mines”,..

But he took special care and time in hand-making two special cards for these two sweethearts in his life.

The first read:

Roses are Red, Pickles are Green,

I love your legs and what’s in between.

I like your style, I like your class,

But most of all I love your ass.

And to the other girl he wrote:

* * *

Roses are Stupid, Violets are Silly!

Bend over Babe ’cause here comes my Willy!

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