Jokes
Funny Pharmacist Joke Of The Day: The Religious Boyfriend
A young man strides into a chemist and asks for a packet of condoms.
The pharmacist replies: “They come in packs of three, nine, or 12. Which would you like?”
“Well,” the young man begins confidently,
“I’ve been seeing this girl and she’s really hot.
I want the condoms because I think tonight’s the night.
We’re having dinner with her parents, and then we’re going away for the weekend.
Once she has seen what I’m like in the sack, I reckon she’ll want me all the time.
So you’d better give me a packet of 12.”
The pharmacist hands over the condoms, and the young man leaves, all puffed up and proud.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents.
Before they begin, however, he suddenly asks if they can say grace.
The family agrees, but is taken aback when the young man continues praying silently for several minutes,…
Once the grace has finished.
Eventually, his girlfriend leans over and whispers,
“You never told me you were so religious.”
The young man leans back and whispers,
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“You never told me that your father is a pharmacist.”
James is alone in the bedroom when his beautiful wife opens the door and walks in.
“James,” she whispers, “Take off my shirt.”
“James,” she whispers, “Take off my bra.”
“James,” she whispers, “Take off my skirt.”
“James,” she whispers, “Take of my stockings.”
“James,” she whispers, “Take off my panties.”
“James!” she screams,
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“And Don’t ever wear my fucking clothes again!”
After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the Obstetrician.
“Doctor,” the man said,
“I don’t mind telling you, but I’m a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can’t possibly be mine.”
“Nonsense,” the doctor said.
“Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool.”
“It isn’t possible,” the man insisted.
“This can’t be, our families on both sides had jet-black hair for generations.”
“Well,” said the doctor,
“let me ask you this. How often do you have sex?”
The man seemed a bit ashamed.
“I’ve been working very hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice every few months.”
* * * * * *
“Well, there you have it!”
The doctor said confidently. “It’s rust.”
There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box.
The Female pencil got pregnant!!
Which Male pencil is responsible?
* * * * * *
ANSWER: THE ONE WITHOUT THE RUBBER.
Woman in bed with husband’s best friend, phone rings!
“YES”.. “OK, BYE”.
She turns to her lover and says,
* * * * * * *
“THAT’S MY HUBBY, SAYS HE’S NOW GOLFING WITH YOU.”
Three Roosters: normal, retarded and a gay.
Normal : cock-a-doodle-dooo !!!
Retarded : doodle-cock-a-dooo !!!
Gay : any-cock-will dooo !!!
Three Guys were introduced to a girl.
“Hi,…. I’m Peter, not a SAINT.”
“I’m Paul not a POPE.”
“I’m John not a BAPTIST…”
The girl replied..
* * * * * *
“Hi.. I’m Mary, not a VIRGIN.”
Girlfriends are like appetizers.
Taste good at any time.
Mistresses are Tomyams.
Hot and spicy. Eaten frequently.
WIVES are Maggie.
Eaten when there’s nothing to eat.!!!
Income Tax office asked a Prostitute why she puts her occupation as CHICKEN FARMER.
She replied:
* * * * * * * *
“I RAISED 5,000 COCKS LAST YEAR.!!”
Yesterday’s News:-
A nun jogging at Jogger’s Park was raped by 4 guys.
Today’s News:-
* * * * * *
Nearly 100 nuns found jogging at the park.
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