Connect with us

Jokes

Good Clean Joke: Smart Millionaire & His Much Younger Bride

Published

on

A 60-year-old millionaire was getting married and threw a big wedding reception.

The big day arrived, and he got married to his stunning 23-year-old bride in the vast garden of his 50,000-square-foot mansion.

Champagne was flowing and an enormous team of waiters was flitting about serving the finest hors-d’oeuvres in the land.

Naturally, the millionaire’s less wealthy friends couldn’t help but feel jealous.

In a quiet moment, one of them asked him how he landed such a young beauty.

“Simple,” grinned the millionaire,

“I faked my age.’

His friends were really amazed and asked him how old he said he was.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“87!” he replied.

Jokes

Four freshman partied too hard during a music festival and unable to make it back for their final exam the next day

Published

on

Four freshman partied too hard during a music festival and unable to make it back for their final exam the next day

As they drove back to the college, they tried to think of a good excuse. Finally, they agreed to the same story: a tire was blown in the middle of nowhere at mid night so they were stuck. They each sent the professor an email asking to retake the exam and gave the excuse. The understanding professor said it’s fine and ask them to take it the next day, but for fairness they would have to take a different exam.

The next day they came to the exam room, and as per usual procedure, each obtained a copy of the exam and sat in a corner. The classroom was big and empty, the professor sat and watched them, so they were nervous. Fortunately, the questions on the first page are fairly easy. Even though these questions only worth 10/100 points, it calmed them down a bit. So they quickly finished the first page at the same time and turned to the second page. There was a single question on it:

(90/100) Which tire was blown?

Continue Reading

Jokes

Three men attend a job interview to join the FBI.

Published

on

Three men attend a job interview to join the FBI.

The first man walked into the office, and the FBI agent who was conducting the interview explained: ‘To be in the FBI, you must be loyal, dedicated and willing to obey orders. Here’s the scenario: your wife is sitting on a chair in the next room, and I want you to go in there and shoot her with this gun.’ The man took the gun, but then hesitated and said: ‘Sorry, I can’t do it.’

Next it was the second man’s turn to be interviewed. The FBI agent told him: ‘To be in the FBI, you must be loyal, dedicated and willing to obey orders. Here’s the scenario: your wife is sitting on a chair in the next room, and I want you to go in there and shoot her with this gun.’ The man took the gun, walked out again. ‘Sorry,’ he said, ‘I can’t do it.’

Finally it was the third man’s turn. The FBI agent told him: ‘To be in the FBI, you must be loyal, dedicated and willing to obey orders. Here’s the scenario: your wife is sitting on a chair in the next room, and I want you to go in there and shoot her with this gun.’ The man took the gun and went into the room. The agent heard six shots, silence, then a lot of screaming. Seconds later the man came out of the room, saying: ‘Some idiot loaded the gun with blanks, so I had to beat her to death with the chair!’

Continue Reading

Jokes

The boss of a mining company is trying to decide which of his 3 sons to promote, so he gives them a test…

Published

on

The boss of a mining company is trying to decide which of his 3 sons to promote, so he gives them a test…

He sits them all down and tells them: “There is bound to come a time in this company when you will hit a sudden economic crisis. When these times come you must know how to cut down on expenses and do the best you can with what budget you have. ” He then proceeds to give them each 1000 dollars, and tells them that he will come back to the mine in a week, and see which of them have been able to move the most ore with the money they were given.

He returns after one week to check up on them, and approaches his oldest son.
“How much digging have you been able to do?” He asks
“3 tons of ore, father. I used 300 dollars to buy a broken digger, I then used my business contacts to find a mechanic willing to fix it for just 200 dollars if I gave his 5 kids a job. The youth is so desperate for a job this day, they will do 12 hour shifts even for an internship, and I only had to pay them 100 dollars each for a week of work”

The father pats his son proudly on the shoulder before moving on to his middle child, asking him how much mining he had been able to do as well.

“10 tons of ore, father. I used 100 dollars to run a local ad in the newspaper asking for workers, then took in 75 undocumented immigrants who all brought their own tools and shovels. They’re all so afraid of being taken by immigration that they’re willing to work for half minimum wage.”

The father looks skeptically at his son for a while, but notices the massive piles of ore the workers are carrying out, and gives him a nod before carrying on to his youngest son.

“How much mining have you been able to do?” Asks the father
“35 tons, dad, but I didn’t use any of the budget.”
The father looks at him in awe, his jaw dropping “How were you able to move 35 tons of ore for free!?”

“I invited a bunch of conspiracy theorists. They just keep digging deeper and deeper thinking they’re going to find something, and every time I tell them to take a break they accuse me of trying to withhold the truth from them!”

Continue Reading

Trending