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Good Office Joke: Job Interview, Are You Kidding?

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Reaching the end of a job interview,…

The Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT,

“And what starting salary were you looking for?”

The Engineer said,

“In the neighborhood of $225,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.”

The interviewer said,

“Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation,

14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary,

and a company car leased every two years – say, a red Corvette?”

The Engineer sat up straight and said,

“Wow! Are you kidding?”

* * * * * * * * * * *

And the interviewer replied, “Yeah, but you started it.”

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A Bar Opened Opposite a Church…..

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A Bar Opened Opposite a Church…..

The Church Prayed Daily against the bar business.

Days later the bar was struck by lightning & caught fire which destroyed it.

Bar Owner Sued the Church Authorities for the cause of its destruction, as it was an action because of their Prayer.

The Church Denied all Responsibility!!!

So, the judge commented,

“It’s Difficult to Decide the Case because here we have a Bar Owner Who Believes in the Power of Prayer & an Entire Church that Doesn’t Believe in it”

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Funny Business Joke Of The Day: How To Impress A Client

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I was in the airport VIP lounge en route to Seattle a couple of weeks ago.

While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably in the corner, enjoying a drink.

I was meeting a very important client who was also flying to Seattle,

but she was running a little bit late.

Well, being a straightforward kind of guy,

I approached the Microsoft chairman, introduced myself, and said,

“Mr. Gates, I wonder if you would do me a favor.”

“Yes?” He asked,

“I’m sitting right over there,”

Pointing to my seat at the bar, I continued,…

“And I’ m waiting for a very important client.

Would you be so kind when she arrives as to come walk by and just say,… ‘Hi Tom?’”

“Sure.” Bill agreed, with a kind smile.

I shook his hand and thanked him and went back to my seat.

About ten minutes later, my client showed up.

We ordered a drink and we started to talk business.

A couple of minutes later, I felt a tap on my shoulder.

It Was Bill Gates. “Hi, Tom,” he said.

I replied,

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Shut up, Bill, I’m in a meeting.”

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Funny Marriage Joke Of The Day: Husband Wants Divorce

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A married couple are driving along a highway doing 60mph, the wife behind the wheel.

Her husband suddenly looks over at her and says,

“Honey, I know we’ve been married for 20 years, but I want a divorce.”

The wife says nothing but slowly increases speed to 70mph.

He then says,

“I don’t want you to try to talk me out of it, because I’ve been having an affair with your best friend, and she’s a better lover than you are.”

Again the wife stays quiet but speeds up as her anger increases.

“I want the house,” he insists, pressing his luck.

Again the wife speeds up to 80mph.

He says, “I want the car, too,”

but she just drives faster and faster.

By now she’s up to 90mph.

“All right,” he says,

“I want the bank accounts, and all the credit cards, too.”

The wife slowly starts to veer toward a bridge.

This makes him a bit nervous, so he says,

“Isn’t there anything you want?”

The wife says, “No, I’ve got everything I need.”

“Oh, really,” he says, “so what have you got?”

Right before they slam into the wall at a 100mph, the wife smiles and says,

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“The airbag.”

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