Connect with us

Jokes

Joke Of The Day: Elderly Couple Was Just Settled Down For Bed

Published

on

An elderly couple was just settled down for bed,…

When the old man realized he left the lights on in the greenhouse in the back yard.

Then they heard voices.

Three men had broken into the greenhouse.

Scared, they called the police.

The dispatcher replied,…

He would send an officer as soon as one became available as they were all out on calls.

The old man waited for a few minutes and called Dispatch again.

He told Dispatch,…

“Don’t worry about sending an officer, I shot the robbers and now the dogs are eating their bodies!”

In no time at all,…

Police were all over the place and captured the robbers red-handed!

One of the cops asked the old man,…

“I thought you said you shot the robber and your dogs were eating them.”

The old man replied,…

* * * * * * * * *

“I thought you said, there weren’t any officers available.”

Jokes

Funny Old Woman Clean Joke Of The Day: The Fourth Marriage

Published

on

An 80 year old lady was being interviewed by the local news station because she had just gotten married – for the fourth time.

The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80,..

and then about her new husband’s occupation.

“He’s a funeral director,” she answered.

“Interesting,” the newsman thought.

He then asked her if she wouldn’t mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.

She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years.

After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly,

explaining that she’d first married a banker when she was in her early 20’s,

then a circus ringmaster when in her 40’s,

later on a preacher when in her 60’s,

and now in her 80’s, a funeral director.

The interview looked at her, quite astonished, and asked her why she had married four men with such diverse careers.

She smiled and explained

* * * * * * * *

“I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.”

Continue Reading

Jokes

Funny Clean Courtroom Joke Of The Day: Innocent Accused?

Published

on

A man accused of theft was appearing before the Judge.

“Your Honor,” his lawyer said,

“I feel it is very unfair for my client to be accused of robbery.

He is an illegal immigrant, has just arrived in America and is guest in our city.

Unable to find his way he roams all around curiously.

He came to this country with knowledge of only a few words of our great English,

which pertains to his livelihood skills back from his mother country.”

The irritant Judge looked in disgust at the defendant and asked,

“How much English do you speak?”

The lawyer translated that to the defendant, defendant looked the judge in the eyes and replied,

* * * * *

“Give me your wallet!”

Continue Reading

Jokes

Simple Clean Comedy Joke Of The Day: The Plumber On Run

Published

on

A man knocked the door of house.

The lady opened the door.

The man said, “I am the here on the run, to fix your leaky pipe.”

The Lady said, “We don’t have any leaky pipe here.”

The plumber on run, says,

“My note reads, your house called for a Plumbing Emergency, address looks exact, Aren’t you Mrs. Smith?”

The Lady says, “No, Smiths moved away about a year back from this house. We are Johnson.”

The plumber grimaces,

* * * * * * * *

“What kind of people are they, Calls for an Emergency repair and then move away.”

Continue Reading

Trending