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Joke Of The Day: Son & Mothers Talking Parrot Reading Bible Gift

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Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered.

Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together.

They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city.

The first said, “I had a big house built for Mama.”

The second said, “I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house.”

The third said, “I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her.”

The fourth said, “You know how Mamma loved reading the Bible and you know she can’t read anymore because she can’t see very well.

I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible.

It took twenty preachers 12 years to teach him.

I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it.

Mamma just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it.”

The other brothers were impressed.

After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes.

She wrote: “Milton, the house you built is so huge I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway.”

“Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks.”

“Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could hold 50 people, but all of my friends are dead,

I’ve lost my hearing and I’m nearly blind. I’ll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same.”

“Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you.”

Luv Ya, Mama

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Funny Husband Wife Clean Joke Of The Day: Men Will Be Men

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The room was full of pregnant women and their partners.

The Lamaze class was in full swing.

The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.

“Ladies, exercise is good for you,” announced the teacher.

“Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn’t hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!”

The room was very quiet.

Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.

“Yes?” asked the instructor.

* * * * * * * * *

“Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?”

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Funny Clean Short Joke: Good Family v/s High Telephone Bill

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The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a family meeting…

Dad: People this is unacceptable.

You have to limit the use of the phone.

I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office.

Mom: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone.

Son: Me too, I never use the home phone. I always use my company mobile.

* * * * * * * *

Maid: So what is the problem? We all use our work telephones.

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I’ve been living with a devastating chronic neck pain…

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I’ve been living with a devastating chronic neck pain…

and have never been able to do anything about it. It’s been really hard to lead a normal life. It’s so bad that if I turn my neck even the slightest to the left or right I’ll be hit by a pain so bad it can only be described as someone driving a nail through my neck.

Well as you might expect I’ve done everything I could to help relieve myself of the pain. I’ve seen every doctor, had every treatment, taken every medicine, and by God, even smoked the devil’s grass. But none of it has worked!

But recently I read an article online about a man who traveled to a monastery out in Tibet who apparently specialized in what is called “body-healing”. These are people who then, with the mind, are able to heal themselves of all sorts of problems!

So I took the chance, I decided I was going to fly out to Tibet and go see this monastery. I had nothing to lose.

After having landed in Tibet I took a cab out into the mountains and was dropped off walking distance away from the monastery. Once there I was greeted by one of the monks. He eyed me up and down and then looked me in the eyes.

“I sense a great pain coming from you, friend”, he said.

I stayed quiet as he moved his hands up and towards my neck. He grabbed a fast hold and I felt a slight pain.

“I have seen men like you before. No treatment or medicine is strong enough. But we monks have the solution.”

My eyes widened as he uttered the words – words that I will never forget:

“This is what you must do: never look back”

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