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Maybe it is just me but so funny

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Maybe it is just me but so funny

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old laws of the church by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head monk to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

The head monk, says, “You make a good point, my son.”

He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held in a locked vault. Hours go by and nobody sees the head monk. The young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing.

“We missed the R! We missed the R! We missed the R!”

“Father!” cries the young monk. “What’s wrong?”

The head monk with tears in his eyes replies, “The word is celebrate!”

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Another two immigrants joke

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Another two immigrants joke

Two immigrants are on a ship heading to America.

One asks the other, “What is the first thing you are going to do when you get to America?”

The second one replies, “Since I am going to become an American the first thing I am going to do is eat American food to start the process.”

The first one agrees that this is a great idea and decides to join him.

The ship docks and they leave looking for ‘American’ food.

They see a hot dog cart and head right over. As they are walking away, the first one opens his wrapper and stares for a moment, then turns to the other and asks,

“So what part of the dog did you get?”

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A man dies and goes up to heaven

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A man dies and goes up to heaven

He arrives at the pearly gates and there’s god standing there on the other side of the gates to greet him. The man walks up to the gates but as he gets closer he can’t help but see that the people inside are driving all different kind of cars, a bit curious the man asks god

“Why is everyone driving a different car what’s the deal?”

God turns to him and says “Well depending on how faithful someone is during their marriage is how we decide what kind of car they get”

The man looks at god excitedly and asks “Okay so what kind of car will I be getting?”

God looks at him and says “Well from what I can see it looked like you were very faithful to your wife, so I think I’ll give you a BMW”

The man excitedly walks through the gate and jumps into his brand new BMW and drives away.

A few weeks pass and god is driving around just checking to see how everyone is going and he happens to come across the same man, but he’s sitting in the gutter crying his eyes out, so god hops out of his car and walks over to him and asks him what wrong.

The man replied “I saw my wife the other day”

To which god replies “That’s great to hear! Why are you crying though?”

The man replies “She was riding a skateboard”

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A rather virtuous young couple marry.

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A rather virtuous young couple marry.

The soon-to-be lovers fly immediately after the ceremony to Toronto for their Honeymoon. After a wet (or at least slightly damp) week on the Canadian side of the Falls, the couple returns and settles into their new life.

The following Saturday, the young bride meets her friends for lunch. The self- appointed mature one of the lot, a lady married a full two years prior, presses the newly deflowered woman for details.

“Well,” she finally admits, “It was nice enough, once I got over my embarrassment.”

“Embarrassed to see your whole man for the first time?” The older girl teases.

The bride swiftly shakes her head. “No, it’s just that we were stopped by security at the border, and they unpacked my whole bag in front of everyone.”

The other girls agree that this would be embarrassing.

“Well, then the condoms from my bag fell onto the ground,” she whispered.

The older girl spoke for them all, “Bless your heart! That would be awful.”

“That’s not the worst of it,” the girl continued. “After that, my husband got upset, and the security decided he was that he was being aggressive, took him into custody, and strip searched him!”

The other ladies looked stricken. Finally, one hugged the bride amongst murmers of “You poor thing!” “That would be mortifying!” and one or two more “Bless your heart!”s.

The girl nodded her thanks for the support, then continued “and thats when we got to the embarrassing bit. The border guys were polite through the whole thing, and kept apologizing during the strip search. But Aaron kept shouting “I’ll sue for that slander! Don’t you listen to them, Honey!”

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