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My friend has trouble attracting women

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My friend has trouble attracting women

“Every time,” he says, “they always reject me!”

“It’s okay,” I tell him, “Just find the type of person you want to be with and pursue that type of person.”

“I don’t know what type of person I want. I’ve been getting desperate,” he responds, “I’ve been targeting ONLY fat, ugly women as of lately!”

I look at him puzzled. Then an idea pops into my head.

“I think I know what type of woman you are attracted to!” I say to him.

He sits up. “What type?”

I reply: “feminists”.

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Three men are walking in the desert

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Three men are walking in the desert

Three men are walking in a desert when they stumble across a wizard next to a magical slide ‘Slide down this ride shout out the name of your favorite drink’ the wizard commands

The three men question his logic but never the less the first man climbs to the top of the slide and begins to slide down ‘Coke’ the man shouts and to his amazement he winds up in a pool of coke The second man is already at the top as he slides down he yells ‘Fanta’ and he too ends up in a pool of his favorite beverage.

The last man is up at the top of the slide is is a lot dumber then his comrades and is known for being idiotic sooooo when he is sliding down forgetting about what he is doing and enjoying himself he screams ‘weeeeeeeeeee’

Splash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well I don’t know what you were expecting

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Three Engineers are Discussing God

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Three Engineers are Discussing God

The structural engineer says “I think God must’ve been a structural engineer. The musculoskeletal system is perfectly designed to allow us to walk upright.”

The electrical engineer says “Interesting, but you are obviously wrong. God is an electrical engineer. The nervous system is so complex and finely tuned, He couldn’t be anything else!”

The civil engineer turns to them both and declares “you’re both wrong. Only a civil engineer would run a sewage line through a recreational area.”

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A man’s walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows.

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A man’s walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows.

A man’s walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows.

“Twenty bucks,” she says.

He’s never been with a hooker before, but he decides what the hell. They’re going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them… it’s a police officer.

“What’s going on here, people?” asks the officer.

“I’m making love to my wife,” the man answers indignantly.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” says the cop, “I didn’t know.”

“Well,” said the man, “neither did I until you shined that light in her face.”

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