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(OC) A man is on trial for sleeping with his sister.



(OC) A man is on trial for sleeping with his sister.

The prosecutor feels it should be an airtight case and tries as hard as he can to organize enough damning evidence as possible to put the perv away for a long time. The trial begins and it is obviously a disturbing proceeding, but there is a shadow of a doubt to whether the man is guilty or innocent. The prosecutor becomes increasingly worried he won’t be able to convict, but he knows, deep down, the man is guilty and feels no remorse for his actions. On the final day of the trial the judge looks down from the stand and clears the accused on all counts. The man rejoices while the prosecutor hangs his head in defeat. As they both head to the exit the man opens the door for the prosecutor and says “Go ahead”, the prosecutor still feeling dejected says “no, after you”. The man looks the prosecutor straight in the face and with a smile he says “no, no, I incest”.


Funny Bad Joke: Little Johnny V/S Teacher’s Dirty Thinking



A teacher asks her class:,

“If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?”

She calls on little Johnny.

“None, they all fly away with the first gunshot.”

The teacher replies:,

“The correct answer is 4, but I like the way you think.”

Then Little Johnny says:,

“I have a question for YOU Madam.

There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream.

One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.

The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.

The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?”

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies”,

“Well I suppose the one that’s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.”

* * * * * * * * * * *

“The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on… but I like the way you think.”

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There once was a rich man who was near death.



There once was a rich man who was near death.

He was very much aggrieved because he had worked very hard for his money, and he wanted to be able to take it with him to Heaven.

So he began to pray that he might be able to take some of his wealth.

An angel heard his plea and appeared to him. “Sorry, but you can’t take your wealth with you.”

The man implored the angel to speak to God to see if He might bend the rules.

The angel reappeared and announced that God had decided to make an exception and was allowing him to take one suitcase with him.

Overjoyed, the man gathered his largest suitcase, filled it with pure gold bars, and placed it beside his bed.

Soon afterward the man died and showed up at the pearly gates.

St. Peter, seeing the suitcase, said, “Hold on, you can’t bring that in here!”

But the man explained to St. Peter that he had permission and asked him to verify his story with the Lord.

Sure enough, St. Peter returned, saying, “You’re right. You are allowed one carry- on bag, but I’m supposed to check its contents before letting it through.”

St. Peter opened the suitcase to inspect the worldly items that the man found too precious to leave behind and exclaimed, “You brought pavement?”

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Top 15 Clean Short Family Jokes: Quick Laugh In 5 Minutes



Teacher: History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past.

Student: Please teacher, I don’t think I want to study history.

Teacher: Why?

Student: There is no future in it.

Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?

Ted: $10.

Teacher: You don’t know maths.

Ted: You don’t know my father!

Mother: David, come here.

David: Yes, mum?

Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.

David: But I will only get my report book tomorrow.

Mother: I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now.

Father: Why did you fail your mathematics test?

Son: On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8

Father: So?

Son: On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8.

If she can’t make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?

A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room.

Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence.

The daughter turned to look at her father.

Daughter: It’s mummy!

Father: How do you know?

Daughter: She didn’t say anything.

Girl: Do you love me?

Boy: Yes Dear

Girl: Would you die for me?

Boy: No, mine is undying love

Man: How old is your father?

Boy: As old as me

Man: How can that be?

Boy: He became a father only when I was born

Waiter: I’ve stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog’s leg.

Customer: Don’t tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.

Teacher: Simon, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did u copy his?

Simon: No, teacher, it’s the same dog!

Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!

Son: That’s why I say she’s no good!

Teacher: “Where were u born?”

Student: ” Singapore , Sir.”

Teacher: “Which part?”

Student: “All of me, Sir.”

A teacher was asking her class: “What is the difference between ‘unlawful’ and ‘illegal’?”

Only one hand shot up.

“Ok, answer, Joan” said the teacher.

“‘unlawful’ is when you do something the law doesn’t allow and ‘illegal’ is a sick eagle.”

Teacher: “How come you do not comb your hair?”

Ah Kow: “No comb, Sir.”

Teacher: “Use your dad’s then.”

Ah Kow: “No hair, Sir.”

A boy came home from school with his exam results.

“What did you get?” asked his father.

“My marks are under water,” said the boy.

“What do you mean ‘under water’?”

“They are all below ‘C’ (sea) level”

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