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One day, a man decides he wants to host a costume party.

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One day, a man decides he wants to host a costume party.

He decides that he wants an emotion-themed party, so he sends out all his invitations, telling his guests to dress as their favorite emotions.

On the night of the party, his doorbell rings, and he opens the door to find his friend dressed in red. “I’m here for the party” says his friend. “I’m red, because I’m angry”.

The host welcomes his friend, and goes back to his party. A little while later, the doorbell rings again. The man opens the door, and is greeted by a man in a green morph suit.

“I’m here for the party” says the guest, “and I’m green with envy”. The man welcomes this person in as well.

A short time later, the doorbell rings again. At the door are two naked men. One has his dick in a hollowed-out pear, and the other has his dick in a bowl of custard.

The man is dumbfounded. “This is an emotion costume party. I am afraid that I can’t let you in dressed like that”. The man with a pear on his dick says in a deep-south accent; “we are dressed as emotions. Can we come in?”

“Ok, you can come in if you can tell me how you are possibly dressed as emotions”, says the man.

“Well, you see, I am deep in dis’ pear, and my friend here… Well… He is fuckin’ dis’ custa’d”.

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Predicting the weather

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Predicting the weather

A local news station is is starting its broadcast for the daily weather and they start talking about rain for the day. The meteorologist starts in “We are looking at about a 60% chance of rain for the day mostly cloudy.” In the back of the station someone chirps up “Hey it’s raining right now!” The meteorologist looks back into the camera and says “Looks like there has been a slight change in the forecast, we are now looking at a 90% chance of rain”

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Naughty Office Joke Of The Day: Dad, Secretary & Little Daughter

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Joke Title: Doll

A man comes home with his little daughter,

whom he has just taken to work.

The little girl asks,

“I saw you in your office with your secretary.

Why do you call her a doll?”

Feeling his wife’s gaze upon him, the man explains,

“Well, honey, my secretary is a very hard-working girl.

She types like you wouldn’t believe,

she knows the computer system and is very efficient.”

“Oh,” says the little girl,

* * * * * * *

“I thought it was because she closed her eyes when you lay her down on the couch.”

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Simple Clean Joke Of The Day: Two Lawyer Friends Playing Golf

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Joke Title: Oh, Those Darn Lawyers

Two lawyers, Jon and Ethan, head out for their usual 9 holes of golf.

Jon offers Ethan a $50 bet.

Ethan agrees and they’re off.

They shoot a great game.

After the 8th hole, Ethan is ahead by one stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th.

“Help me find my ball. Look over there,” he says to Jon.

After a few minutes, neither has any luck.

Since a lost ball carries a four point penalty, Ethan secretly pulls a ball from his pocket and tosses it to the ground.

“I’ve found my ball!” he announces.

“After all of the years we’ve been partners and playing together,”

Jon says, “you’d cheat me out of a lousy 50 bucks?”

“What do you mean, cheat? I found my ball sitting right there!”

“And you’re a liar, too!” Jon says.

* * * * * * *

“I’ll have you know I’ve been STANDING on your ball for the last five minutes!”

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