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Pretty woman sneezes…

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Pretty woman sneezes…

At a hotel restaurant, a man sees an attractive woman sitting alone at the next table. Suddenly, she sneezes, and a glass eye comes flying out of her eye socket. It hurls by the man, and he snatches it from the air and hands it back to her. “This is so embarrassing,” the woman says, and she pops her eye back in place. “I’m sorry to have disturbed you. Let me buy dinner to make it up to you. May I join you?” He nods. The woman is a stimulating conversationalist, stunningly pretty, and the man finds they have a lot in common. He gets her phone number and asks, “You are the most charming woman I’ve ever encountered. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?” “No,” she replies. “You just happened to catch my eye.”

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Joke Of The Day: While Teaching A Class Of Good Manners

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A teacher trying to teach good manners asked her students the following question:

“Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady,

how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?”

Michael said:

“Just a minute I have to go pee.”

The teacher responded by saying:

“That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?”

Sherman said:

“I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

“That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.

And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?”

Johnny said: “I would say:,…”

* * * * * * * * * * *

“Darling, may I please be excused for a moment?

I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine,

Who I hope to introduce you to after dinner.”

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Funny Comedy Joke: The Most Unusual Funeral Procession

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A man was leaving a convenience store with his espresso,…

When he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.

A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.

Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian man walking a dog on a leash.

Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking in single file.

The man couldn’t stand the curiosity.

He respectfully approached the Italian man walking the dog and said:

“I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I’ve never seen an funeral like this. Whose funeral, is it?”

“My wife’s.”

“What happened to her?”

“She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her.”

He inquired further,

“But who is in the second hearse?”

“My mother-in-law. She came to help my wife and the dog turned on her and killed her also.”

It was a very poignant and touching moment of the man and Italian man.

Silence passed between the two men.

The man then asked:

“Can I borrow the dog?”

The Italian man replied,

* * * * * * * * * * *

“Get in the line.”

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An Arabic, an American, an Australian and an Israeli flew on an airplane

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An Arabic, an American, an Australian and an Israeli flew on an airplane

The pilot says in the mic: “Gentlemen, we are sorry but the left engine stopped working. We only have 3 parachutes left. decide between yourselfes who is going to jump.”

The American takes a parachute and say: “We are the strongest nation.” And jumps.

The Arabic takes a parachute and says: “We are the most intelligent nation.” And jumps.

The Israeli tells the Australian: “Go take a parachute.”

The Australian asks: “And what about you?”

The Israeli replied: “Don’t worry the intelligent one took a sleeping bag.”

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