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Short Dirty Doctor Joke Of The Day: Won’t You Kiss Me, Doctor?

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“Won’t you kiss me, doctor,”

asks a beautiful woman.

“No, it would be against my code of ethics,”

says the doctor.

“Please just one kiss,”

begs the woman.

“It’s completely out of the question,”

he goes on.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

“I shouldn’t even really be having sex with you.”

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Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday.Everybody complimented him on how healthy, athletic and well-preserved he appeared.

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Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday.Everybody complimented him on how healthy, athletic and well-preserved he appeared.

Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday.Everybody complimented him on how healthy, athletic and well-preserved he appeared.

“I will tell you the secret of my success,” Grandpa said, “My wife and I were married 75 years ago. On our wedding day, we made a solemn pledge. Whenever we had an argument, or fight, the one who proved wrong would go outside and take a walk for 5 kms. Gentlemen, I have been walking in the open air day after day for some 75 years now.”

One friend further asked, ‘But your wife is also slim and energetic?’

Grandpa said, ‘that is another secret, my wife use to follow me behind checking whether I go for 5 kms or sit in a park!!!

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Funny Old Woman Clean Joke Of The Day: The Fourth Marriage

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An 80 year old lady was being interviewed by the local news station because she had just gotten married – for the fourth time.

The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80,..

and then about her new husband’s occupation.

“He’s a funeral director,” she answered.

“Interesting,” the newsman thought.

He then asked her if she wouldn’t mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.

She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years.

After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly,

explaining that she’d first married a banker when she was in her early 20’s,

then a circus ringmaster when in her 40’s,

later on a preacher when in her 60’s,

and now in her 80’s, a funeral director.

The interview looked at her, quite astonished, and asked her why she had married four men with such diverse careers.

She smiled and explained

* * * * * * * *

“I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.”

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Funny Clean Courtroom Joke Of The Day: Innocent Accused?

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A man accused of theft was appearing before the Judge.

“Your Honor,” his lawyer said,

“I feel it is very unfair for my client to be accused of robbery.

He is an illegal immigrant, has just arrived in America and is guest in our city.

Unable to find his way he roams all around curiously.

He came to this country with knowledge of only a few words of our great English,

which pertains to his livelihood skills back from his mother country.”

The irritant Judge looked in disgust at the defendant and asked,

“How much English do you speak?”

The lawyer translated that to the defendant, defendant looked the judge in the eyes and replied,

* * * * *

“Give me your wallet!”

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