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Smart Grandma In Hospital Joke: How To Keep Yourself Informed

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A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph’s Hospital,

And she timidly asked,

“Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?”

The operator responded,

“I’ll be glad to help, dear. What’s the patient’s name and room number?”

The grandmother in her weak tremulous voice said,

“Norma Findlay, Room 302.”

The operator replied,

“Let me place you on hold while I check with her nurse.”

After a few minutes the operator returned to the Phone.

“Oh, good news. Her nurse has told me that Norma is doing very well.

Her blood pressure is fine; Her blood work just came back as normal.

And her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged Tuesday.”

The grandmother said,

“Thank you. That’s wonderful. I was so worried! God bless you for the good news.”

The operator replied,

“You’re more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?

The grandmother said,

* * * * * * * * * * * *

“No, I’m Norma Findlay in Room 302. But no one tells me anything.!”

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Predicting the weather

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Predicting the weather

A local news station is is starting its broadcast for the daily weather and they start talking about rain for the day. The meteorologist starts in “We are looking at about a 60% chance of rain for the day mostly cloudy.” In the back of the station someone chirps up “Hey it’s raining right now!” The meteorologist looks back into the camera and says “Looks like there has been a slight change in the forecast, we are now looking at a 90% chance of rain”

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Naughty Office Joke Of The Day: Dad, Secretary & Little Daughter

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Joke Title: Doll

A man comes home with his little daughter,

whom he has just taken to work.

The little girl asks,

“I saw you in your office with your secretary.

Why do you call her a doll?”

Feeling his wife’s gaze upon him, the man explains,

“Well, honey, my secretary is a very hard-working girl.

She types like you wouldn’t believe,

she knows the computer system and is very efficient.”

“Oh,” says the little girl,

* * * * * * *

“I thought it was because she closed her eyes when you lay her down on the couch.”

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Simple Clean Joke Of The Day: Two Lawyer Friends Playing Golf

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Joke Title: Oh, Those Darn Lawyers

Two lawyers, Jon and Ethan, head out for their usual 9 holes of golf.

Jon offers Ethan a $50 bet.

Ethan agrees and they’re off.

They shoot a great game.

After the 8th hole, Ethan is ahead by one stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th.

“Help me find my ball. Look over there,” he says to Jon.

After a few minutes, neither has any luck.

Since a lost ball carries a four point penalty, Ethan secretly pulls a ball from his pocket and tosses it to the ground.

“I’ve found my ball!” he announces.

“After all of the years we’ve been partners and playing together,”

Jon says, “you’d cheat me out of a lousy 50 bucks?”

“What do you mean, cheat? I found my ball sitting right there!”

“And you’re a liar, too!” Jon says.

* * * * * * *

“I’ll have you know I’ve been STANDING on your ball for the last five minutes!”

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