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Stupid Joke: Elderly Man Tells Doctor His 20-Year-Old Bride Is Pregnant

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The doctor asked the old man how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said,

“Things are great, and I’ve never felt better!

I now have a 20-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child.

What do you think about that, doctor?”

The doctor considered the question for a minute, and then began to tell a story.

“I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season.

One day he was setting off to go hunting.

In a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun.”

“As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water’s edge.

He realized he left his gun at home, and so, he couldn’t shoot the magnificent creature.

Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it was his favorite hunting rifle, and yelled ‘bang bang’.

Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell dead.”

“Now, what do you think of that?” asked the doctor.

The 86-year-old replied, “Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a few rounds into that beaver.”

The doctor replied, “My point exactly.”

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Husband Wife Short Joke Of The Day: How To Enjoy Sunday?

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Husband [:D] Darling, my sweet heart I will be enjoying this Sunday.

Wife: How?

Husband: I bought three tickets for the movie.

Wife: thats great, but we are two, why you bought three tickets ???

* * * * * * *

Husband: Darling one for you, one for your mother and one for your brother. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Clean Office Joke: Man Goes Into A Pet Shop To Buy A Monkey

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A man goes into a pet shop to buy a monkey.

The shop owner points to 3 identical looking monkeys on a perch and says the monkey on the left cost $ 500.00

Why does that one cost so much? asked the shopper.

The owner says well the monkey knows how to use a computer.

The man then asks about the next monkey and was told that this one cost $1000.00,…

because it can do everything the other monkey can do plus he knows the Unix operating system.

Naturally the increasingly startled man asks about the third monkey to be told that it costs $ 2000.00

Needles to say this begs the question.

What can it do?

To which the owner replies:

* * * * * * * * * * * *

“To be honest I have never seen him do a thing but the other two call him BOSS.”

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Really Funny Clean Old Age Joke Of The Day: Shameless Visitor

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The Grandmother of a just got married grandson phoned that he was coming to present his beautiful lovely wife to grandma.

The delighted Grandma started giving instructions how to come to their high rise colony retirement Apartment.

She started blabbering,

“When you come to the front door of the apartment building inside vestibule,

My son there is a push button, push it with your Elbow, I will hear and open the door from my apartment for you.

You will hear the pi……pi buzz.

You push the door with your Elbow and open. Enter and walk to the Elevator.

Push the UP button with your Elbow and elevator opens. Enter.

Push the #4 button with your Elbow carefully and elevator comes to fourth floor.

Walk to the room number 420 and push the button with your Elbow. I will open the door for you.”

The polite grand son said,

“Dear Grand Ma, my wife and I can handle all these, we have been born here. Don’t worry.

But explain one thing, why do you want me to push all the buttons with my Elbow.”

* * * * * * * * * *

The Grandma yelled, “What? Shameless, are you coming without gifts in your hands for Grandma?”

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