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The boss of a mining company is trying to decide which of his 3 sons to promote, so he gives them a test…

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The boss of a mining company is trying to decide which of his 3 sons to promote, so he gives them a test…

He sits them all down and tells them: “There is bound to come a time in this company when you will hit a sudden economic crisis. When these times come you must know how to cut down on expenses and do the best you can with what budget you have. ” He then proceeds to give them each 1000 dollars, and tells them that he will come back to the mine in a week, and see which of them have been able to move the most ore with the money they were given.

He returns after one week to check up on them, and approaches his oldest son.
“How much digging have you been able to do?” He asks
“3 tons of ore, father. I used 300 dollars to buy a broken digger, I then used my business contacts to find a mechanic willing to fix it for just 200 dollars if I gave his 5 kids a job. The youth is so desperate for a job this day, they will do 12 hour shifts even for an internship, and I only had to pay them 100 dollars each for a week of work”

The father pats his son proudly on the shoulder before moving on to his middle child, asking him how much mining he had been able to do as well.

“10 tons of ore, father. I used 100 dollars to run a local ad in the newspaper asking for workers, then took in 75 undocumented immigrants who all brought their own tools and shovels. They’re all so afraid of being taken by immigration that they’re willing to work for half minimum wage.”

The father looks skeptically at his son for a while, but notices the massive piles of ore the workers are carrying out, and gives him a nod before carrying on to his youngest son.

“How much mining have you been able to do?” Asks the father
“35 tons, dad, but I didn’t use any of the budget.”
The father looks at him in awe, his jaw dropping “How were you able to move 35 tons of ore for free!?”

“I invited a bunch of conspiracy theorists. They just keep digging deeper and deeper thinking they’re going to find something, and every time I tell them to take a break they accuse me of trying to withhold the truth from them!”

Jokes

A farmer has three daughters that are all going on their first dates…

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A farmer has three daughters that are all going on their first dates…

The farmer decides to greet the suitors at the door with his shot gun. Around 5 the first boy arrives and rings the doorbell. “My names Joe, I’m here for flo, we’re going to the show, is she ready to go?”

The farmer thought he was alright, so off they went to their date.

Shortly after the second boy arrives. He rings the doorbell and the farmer answers. “My names Heddy, I’m here for Betty, we’re going for spaghetti, is she ready?”

The farmer once again decided the boy was ok, so off the kids went.

Finally, the last boy arrives. The farmer goes to the door. “My names Chuck…”

The farmer shot him.

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Jokes

The Best Way to Drink Tequila

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The Best Way to Drink Tequila

A Mexican is strolling down the street in Mexico City and kicks a bottle lying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a Genie. The Mexican is stunned and the Genie says, “Hello master, I will grant you one wish; anything you want.”

The Mexican begins thinking, “Well, I really like drinking tequila.” Finally the Mexican says, “I wish to drink tequila whenever I want, so make me pee tequila.”

The Genie grants him his wish. When the Mexican gets home, he gets a glass out of the cupboard and pees in it. He looks at the glass and it’s clear.
Looks like tequila.
Then he smells the liquid.
Smells like tequila.
So he takes a taste and it is the best tequila he has ever tasted.
The Mexican yells to his wife, “Consuelo, Consuelo, come quickly.”

She comes running down the hall and the Mexican takes another glass out of the cupboard and fills it.
He tells her to drink it.
It is tequila.

Consuelo is reluctant but goes ahead and takes a sip.
It is the best tequila she has ever tasted.
The two drank and partied all night.

The next night the Mexican comes home from work and tells his wife to get two glasses out of the cupboard.
He proceeds to fill the two glasses.
The result is the same.
The tequila is excellent and the couple drinks until the sun comes up.

Finally Friday night comes and the Mexican comes home and tells his wife, “Consuelo, grab one glass from the cupboard and we will drink Tequila.”

His wife gets the glass from the cupboard and sets it on the table. The Mexican begins to fill the glass; and when he fills it, his wife asks him, “But Pancho, why do we need only one glass?”

Pancho raises the glass and says,
“Because tonight, Mi Amor, you drink from the bottle.”

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Jokes

That’s how I ended up in Ohio.

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That’s how I ended up in Ohio.

I often wondered why my ancestors ended up in Ohio. I was combing through boxes of paperwork my parents had kept. Some of it dating back to when my great, great grandparents were alive. When they were traveling from the east to find a place to settle, my great, great grandmother became somewhat ill. My great, great grandfather was annoyed and made some comments that she should suck it up so they could continue to travel. She was also annoyed with him and then told him to go on without her and she would catch up with him in a few weeks. Still annoyed and not wanting to make her any madder, he asked her where he should stop and build the homestead. She then answered him by saying, “Stick it where the sun don’t shine.”

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