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The boy with no name.

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The boy with no name.

There once was a boy with no name. He went to school one day and his teacher asked for his name to witch the boy sadly replied, “I don’t know ma’am.” The boy went home crying because he didn’t know his own name, so he went to ask his mother.

His mother had a pair of really big boobs that touched the cutting board she was using. Suddenly the boy crept up on her and cried loudly, “MOMMY WHAT’S MY NAME!?” The boy’s mother was startled and accidentally chopped off both of her nipples. She screamed, “MY TITTIES!!!” As she bled all over the place. The boy was satisfied and said, “thanks Mommy!” As he skipped away.

The next day at school the boy proudly announced that his name was My Titties. On that day no one played with the boy on recess making his teacher feel bad for him. So she announced, “if no one plays with my titties this instant I’ll force you inside and make sure your punished!”

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Funny Corny Husband Wife Short Joke: Weight Watchers

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Mrs. Speidell, who was a little on the chubby side,

Was at her weight-watchers meeting.

“My husband insists I come to these meetings because he would rather screw a woman with a trim figure.”

she lamented to the woman next to her.

“Well,” the lady replied,

“What’s wrong with that?”

* * * * * * * *

“He likes to do it while I’m stuck at these damn meetings.”

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Funny Clean Health Joke: Doctor v/s Elderly Woman’s Demand

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Joke Title: 20 Years

My friend Ada was slowly recovering from a heart attack.

“Doctor,” she pleaded with her cardiologist,

“You must keep me alive for the next two years. I want to attend my first grandchild’s bar mitzvah.”

“We’ll try,” he replied compassionately.

In due course Ada gratefully attended the festive rite of passage.

Some time later she again spoke to her doctor.

“My granddaughter is to be married in 18 months. Please help me to be able to attend her wedding.”

“We’ll do our best,” he replied.

And my friend happily attended her granddaughter’s wedding.

Ten years passed.

Ada visited her cardiologist regularly and followed his instructions religiously.

One morning she called him. “Doctor,” she began,

“I’m feeling fine, but I have another request to ask of you:

Remember how you saw me through to my grandson’s bar mitzvah?”

“Yes.”

“And later how you helped me attend my granddaughter’s wedding?”

“Yes.”

“Well, as you know I’ve just celebrated my 80th birthday. And I just bought myself a new mattress.”

“Yes?”

* * * * * * * *

“It has a 20-year guarantee…”

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Husband Wife Simple Humor Joke Of The Day: Daily Bar Time

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A pissed-off wife was complaining about her husband spending all his free time in a bar,..

so one night he took her along with him.

“What’ll you have?” he asked.

“Oh, I don’t know. The same as you I suppose,” she replied.

So, the husband ordered beer and threw his down in one shot.

His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spat it out.

“Yuck, that’s TERRIBLE!” she spluttered,

“I don’t know how you can drink this stuff!”

“Well, there you go,” cried the husband.

* * * * * * * *

“And you think I’m out enjoying myself every night!”

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