Connect with us

Jokes

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears.

Published

on

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears.

The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn’t find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

Then, one night while watching the News he saw a war-zone scene in the West Bank. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Israeli soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 10th story window 100 yards away.

KABOOM!

He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.

KA-BLOOEY!

Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.

BULLS-EYE!

“I’ve got to get this guy!” Coach said to himself. “He has the perfect arm!”

So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.

The young man is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.

“Mom,” he says, “I just won the Super Bowl!”

“I don’t want to talk to you,” the old woman says. “You are not my son!”

“I don’t think you understand, Mother,” the young man pleads. “I’ve won the greatest sporting event in the world. I’m here among thousands of my adoring fans!”

“No! Let me tell you!” his mother retorts. “At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn’t get raped!” The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, “I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago!”

Jokes

The boy with no name.

Published

on

The boy with no name.

There once was a boy with no name. He went to school one day and his teacher asked for his name to witch the boy sadly replied, “I don’t know ma’am.” The boy went home crying because he didn’t know his own name, so he went to ask his mother.

His mother had a pair of really big boobs that touched the cutting board she was using. Suddenly the boy crept up on her and cried loudly, “MOMMY WHAT’S MY NAME!?” The boy’s mother was startled and accidentally chopped off both of her nipples. She screamed, “MY TITTIES!!!” As she bled all over the place. The boy was satisfied and said, “thanks Mommy!” As he skipped away.

The next day at school the boy proudly announced that his name was My Titties. On that day no one played with the boy on recess making his teacher feel bad for him. So she announced, “if no one plays with my titties this instant I’ll force you inside and make sure your punished!”

Continue Reading

Jokes

Simple Clean Comedy Joke: American Couple V/S African Boy

Published

on

Joke Title: No Untruth

One American Couple went to Africa for their Honeymoon.

While walking on the countryside they saw one beautiful lake.

There was one little boy standing and enjoying the atmosphere on the bank.

They asked him whether there are any sharks in the lake.

He said: “No”.

They jumped in the lake but after few minutes they got suspicious.

They came back and asked the boy,…

“Are you sure there are no sharks ?”

He replied:

* * * * * * *

“Believe me, Sharks don’t come where there are Crocodiles”.

Continue Reading

Jokes

Funny Bad Nurse Joke Of The Day: Size – Does It Matter?

Published

on

A young man was so paranoid about the size of his penis that he could never work up the courage to have sex.

Then one day he fell in love with a nurse.

One fine evening, they went back to her place.

She put on some soft music and led him into the bedroom.

Totally mortified, he told her of his problem.

“Don’t worry,” She said.

“I’m a nurse. I won’t laugh.”

Blushing the man drops his trousers.

“It’s OK,” she said.

“I’ve seen lots smaller than that.”

“Really?” the relieved man asked.

She nodded. “Yes,” she chuckled,

* * * * * *

“I used to work in the maternity unit.”

Continue Reading

Trending